Bearers Part 1: Bearers of the New King
by Spunky0ne
Summary: When Aizen Sousuke and the Spirit King destroy each other, Byakuya and Renji are chosen to undergo a ritual meant to bring forth a new Spirit King. As Interim King and Consort, the two attempt a rebirth ritual. Not typical mpreg...borderline...
1. The Coming of the Black Rain

**Bearers of the New King**

**By Spunky0ne**

**XXXXX**

**Chapter 1: The Coming of the Black Rain**

**(Thanks so much to Walkure Leuad for suggesting this storyline! Does she have great suggestions or what! This is not a part of any series...just a stand-alone story. Thanks for reading! And please remember to review. It's such a gift to hear from you! Luv, Spunky)**

Renji paused in the midst of signing the report he had just finished, upon hearing the sound of rain falling outside. He enjoyed the way it sounded, the way it felt on his skin when he walked in it, and the way it brought such good smells and the growth of new flowers everywhere it fell. He was glad for the rain falling now. Hearing it, he couldn't help but think about how what he and his taichou had experienced together in the aftermath of Aizen Sosuke's treachery had been like the rain falling on parched ground.

Renji had fully expected that Kuchiki Byakuya would seek to have him removed from his post, perhaps arrested after all that had happened. It's what he would have done before. But despite the fact that Byakuya seemed, in most ways, to have returned to his distant, stoic self, some things had changed. Renji was surprised to learn that not only had Byakuya refused to pursue action against him for his insubordination, he had also made a point of telling Soutaichou, when asked, that he preferred to keep Renji at his side.

It had confused Renji at first. He wondered what could be the reason for him doing that…and waited for Byakuya to say something. But Byakuya had never been one to reveal his reasons easily. One had, Renji knew, to look beneath the hardness and quiet at the surface to see what lay beneath it, and when Renji looked at the things Byakuya did, what he saw was a new level of respect growing between them…a sense of gratitude for Renji's persistence in protecting Rukia, and a sincere desire to improve their working relationship. Renji answered his taichou's veiled overtures with a return to his general friendliness in exchanges with his taichou, in sincere efforts to improve his fighting skills and in finding small way to indicate to Byakuya that, despite everything, he too, wanted to improve their working relationship.

He couldn't help but feel proud at how well their division had performed ever since. Byakuya's strategic knowledge and Renji's ability to communicate the taichou's commands to the others in such a capable way, resulted in a squad that worked together seamlessly. But even with all that had improved, there were some things Renji wished would change.

He looked over at the quiet form that worked at the desk across from his…hardly looking up, hardly acknowledging he wasn't alone, hardly seeming to notice the world around him. Despite the fact that Renji understood what had changed between him, he longed for some kind of shift in demeanor, something stated openly, something other than having to interpret every small sign. He wanted Byakuya to tell him in words that he was valued, that he was capable, that he was appreciated. He knew very well it wasn't likely to happen. Byakuya simply wasn't made that way. When one worked alongside Kuchiki Byakuya, he had to be willing to rely on the small details, the half-hidden things that said what he was thinking beneath those calm gray eyes. And in absence of a way to do that, Renji made the choice to simply accept Byakuya as he was. After all, Byakuya had done the same for him.

Still, there were times…

"Abarai, is something wrong?"

The tone was placid, like everything else…not cold, but not warm either. And it told Renji to stop daydreaming and to return to his work.

"Sorry Taichou," he said softly, "I was distracted by the rain."

"Hmm…" came the noncommittal reply.

In the past, he would have issued a reprimand for Renji not to lose focus or slack off…but this small concession was another reminder that something was different…in a good way. Anyone else would have overlooked it, but Renji saw it for what it was and responded in kind.

"Would you like some tea, Taichou?" he asked pleasantly.

"Yes, tea would be good, Abarai, arigato."

Again, not a word was wasted, but there was something there. Renji smiled congenially and, rising to make the tea, contented himself with that. He hadn't taken more than a few steps when the alert sounded.

_Code Red Emergency…Code Red Emergency…The dimension wall has been breached. All squads report to the dimension wall…The dimension wall has been breached…all squads report to the dimension wall._

Byakuya's eyes rose to meet Renji's and Renji nodded, then shot down the hallway, calling the squad to assemble. The barracks erupted in the sounds of startled voices, the swish of clothing, and the hiss of flash steps as the squad quickly assembled outside the Squad Six Headquarters and Byakuya and Renji led them away.

They heard the sounds of battle even before they arrived, the shouts and grunts, the crashing of swords. Byakuya's eyes met Renji's again and Renji turned and shouted to the group following.

"Arms ready!"

Zanpakutou clicked free and hissed as they were drawn, then moments later, the noise exploded around them. Renji shouted to the group to break for the palace and followed as Byakuya flash stepped forward. They shot through the break in the wall and bypassed the entangled forces engaging the hollows. Their duty was clear. Protect the royal family at all costs.

They burst into the palace, shaken by the sight of the shattered doors, the bodies lying all about and the blood running beneath their feet. They heard voices ahead of them and turned toward the throne room, shuddering inside as they turned the corner and saw the blackened remains of the throne room door and the guards that had tried to protect it.

Suddenly, Byakuya slid to a stop, releasing a small, barely audible gasp of dismay. Renji stopped as well, catching his breath sharply as his eyes fell on the scattered bodies that littered the room…the queen, fallen with her protectors all around her and behind her, the children that she and the others had tried to protect. And all around them, the royal guardsmen, their white uniforms splashed with their blood and the blood of the royal family they had sought to protect. And at the final doorway, they found the bodies of Gin and Tousen…not torn, like the others, but neatly executed…at the moment their usefulness ended.

"Renji…"

He had never heard emotion like that in Byakuya's voice, but he heard it now. He turned to the rest of the group.

"Check for signs of life, no matter how small. Save anyone you can! And stay here…"

He turned back to Byakuya and the two stepped forward into the Spirit King's Garden, where none but the royal family and royal guardsmen were allowed to go. They had only gone a few steps in when they found the two…their bodies locked against each other, blackened and ruined.

Renji stared in disbelief. He turned to say something to Byakuya, but the noble had dropped to his knees. Renji moved closer and felt a new wave of shock pass over him as he realized that Byakuya's body was shaking. His breath came out in trembling bursts and his eyes were filled with tears.

"Oh, kami…Taichou…" he breathed.

Byakuya's next words nearly shattered his heart.

"They…trusted us to…protect them. The Gotei 13…and especially the noble families…Renji…"

He opened his mouth to reply, but was struck silent as the spirit energy rose around them and the other taichous flash stepped into the gardens. Soutaichou approached Byakuya and as he quietly observed the fallen king and Aizen Sosuke, he brought a hand to rest on Byakuya's shoulder. The noble's eyes closed and his head bowed.

"We…failed them…" Byakuya managed in a whisper.

"Hai," the old voice intoned sadly, "but do not let yourself be overcome with grief, Kuchiki Byakuya. Our enemies have fallen as well…and we have the ability to bring forth a new king. The way will be difficult…but we will find our way."

He turned to the rest of the taichous.

"We must seal off the palace and gardens and begin repairs on the dimension wall. As soon as the crews are at work, I want all of you to meet with me to discuss our plan of action. The worlds of shinigami, hollow and human will begin to collide quickly. Unless steps are taken to provide an interim king and consort, everything will be lost. Move quickly now!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya stood quietly in the first division meeting room alongside the other taichous, awaiting the arrival of Soutaichou. Calm had been restored to the stoic features as realization set in that there was nothing anyone could do to change the facts of the situation. Aizen Sosuke had managed to break through the dimension wall and had murdered the royal family. And although he paid for the attempt with his life, he had forced the Gotei 13 into a desperate situation. Byakuya shivered softly, wondering how awful the process for restoring the royal family must be.

The king commanded great power…power protected by several deep enchantments. Byakuya knew that upon the death of the king, his powers had left his body and had returned to the king's prism…there to await the arrival of the interim king and consort…and the way of renewal. He felt another shiver pass through him as he wondered how the interim king and consort must be chosen.

He felt the approach of Soutaichou and felt as though the breath had been suddenly sucked from his body. But he held himself perfectly still…surrendering nothing of the turmoil within.

"I thank you all for gathering so quickly. As you know, the royal family has fallen and it is left to us to bring forth the new king…or our worlds will collide and end. As long as the palace remains empty, our worlds will close on each other. We will slowly lose our powers as our worlds collide and, in the end, all life, human, shinigami and hollow, will perish. Only the birthing of a new king can prevent this."

"How do we birth a new king?" asked Ukitake in a soft, sad voice.

"The birthing of the new king is a process, the knowledge of which is given solely to Soutaichou…me. I will tell you the process and we must decide how best to achieve it."

He gave a deep sigh.

"This will not be an easy path, but we have no choice. First, we must decide upon a consort to bear the new king. That person may be male or female, because the process of birth is a different thing for the king. It is a gathering of power within the consort and a yielding of that power when it has grown sufficiently to maintain itself. It is like the human process of giving birth, but in the rebirth ritual, the power exits the consort and forms into the body of the new king. But it needs the body of the consort to contain it until it is safe for the king to emerge," explained Soutaichou, "The body of the consort will not change as human bodies do, as the power being housed in the consort's body replaces that person's own power for the duration of the rebirth ritual."

"What happens to the consort's own powers?" asked Hitsugaya, frowning.

"The consort's powers are sacrificed for the duration of the ritual…as is all connection to his or her zanpakutou. This is what creates the necessary space within the consort to hold the king's spirit energy."

"Damn…" muttered Zaraki, shaking his head, "Well, you can count me out for that!"

"Now…as to the qualifications. The consort must be taichou level…must be willing to sacrifice all powers and the connection with his or her zanpakutou for the duration of the ritual. And the most important factor…The consort must be virginal."

"But Soutaichou," said Ukitake, looking around, "There aren't any virgins among the taichous…I don't think…unless Hitsugaya…"

"No…" said Hitsugaya, shooting an angry glare at Ukitake, "I do not qualify."

"I don't know a damned one of us who will!" laughed Zaraki.

"Well then," Soutaichou went on, "We shall have to attempt purification of one of you."

"Purification?" queried Soi Fon.

Soutaichou nodded.

"A captain may be purified by bathing in the pool at the center of the King's Garden. The water there will purify the body, but the memory of the consort would be made a clean slate as well…"

"Would the consort regain his or her memory after?" asked Hitsugaya.

"If the completion of the rebirth ritual is successful, then, yes, the consort would regain memories along with the sacrificed power at the end of the process. But be warned, there are no guarantees the rebirth will be successful…or that all memories would be restored perfectly. It is a risk the consort must assume."

"But you say that if the taichou level consort is virginal, then there is no need for loss of memory in addition to the loss of powers," Byakuya said, not raising his eyes.

"Weren't you paying attention, Kuchiki?" Zaraki said, impatiently, "There aren't any virgin taichous…or taichou levels…right?"

"That is incorrect," Byakuya said softly.

All eyes turned to stare at the noble. He looked up at them warily.

"Weren't you married?" asked Soi Fon, frowning.

"I was married," Byakuya said, raising his eyes, "but due my wife's fragile health, we did not consummate our marriage."

The room went deathly still. Soutaichou's eyes met Byakuya's questioningly.

"Then will you offer yourself as consort?" he asked the noble quietly.

Byakuya took a steadying breath.

"As I have the least to lose in doing so, in that I will not be forced to lose my memory…I think it would be best for me to do so."

Soutaichou nodded.

"It is best if the consort is able to remember. It assists in the recovery of both consort and interim king after the rebirth ritual. If both are not able to remember, it makes the recovery process more difficult. I do warn you, however, that you may end up wishing you did not remember, Kuchiki Byakuya. Because in giving yourself over to this process, you must yield everything for the duration of the ritual. You must travel to the palace with the interim king and live there with him until the new king's birth. You must be able to accept yielding your powers, your connection with your zanpakutou, your identity as taichou and clan leader. And you will share this ritual with one you know, but who will not know you in return…one who has lost all sense of self, while involved in the rebirth ritual. Having your memory may become a burden that threatens your mission. Are you certain that you wish to do this, Byakuya?"

The noble met Soutaichou's eyes calmly.

"Hai, Soutaichou."

"Very well. Kuchiki Byakuya will act as consort for the rebirth ritual. Now, as for the interim king…"

Several hands rose among the taichous, but Soutaichou's glare made them quickly fall again.

"You must all understand. The situation is likely to grow dangerous during the ritual. We are already short several taichous and we are losing another to this ritual already. Therefore, I wish to choose a captain level fukutaichou or equivalent to act as interim king."

"Do we need another virgin?" asked Zaraki.

"No," said Soutaichou, "The reason for this is that the interim king must bathe in the waters in the King's Garden in order to receive and contain the former king's soul power. His body must slowly render the former king's power into a new reiatsu and place this reiatsu within the consort's body."

"And how does that work?" asked Shunsui.

"How do you think it works?" asked Soutaichou, glaring.

"Oho," chuckled, Zaraki, "looks like our virgin taichou won't be virgin for long."

There was a sharp click and the hiss of a flash step, then the clash of swords crossing.

"Enough!" shouted Soutaichou.

Byakuya and Zaraki stood, braced against each other, swords drawn and crossed.

"Go ahead," Byakuya said in a dead-calm voice, "Say that again and I'll cut your throat."

"As if you could!" Zaraki replied, pulling his weapon away and sheathing it.

Byakuya hesitated a moment longer, then returned his weapon to its sheath as well. Soutaichou's reiatsu flared dangerously, silencing both.

"I have already considered all of the qualified shinigami and there is one who stands out as the one most likely to be successful in this process."

He turned to Byakuya.

"It works out well, I think that you have worked together. Perhaps that will ease the discomfort of your mission. Byakuya, it is your duty to go now and collect the one who will act as the interim king and assist you in birthing the new Spirit King."

He paused, gazing into the noble's dark, guarded eyes.

"The one I have chosen to aid you in this mission…is Abarai Renji."


	2. The Preparation

**Chapter 2: The Preparation**

**(Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing! Hope you enjoy!)**

Byakuya waited until the rest of the squad members had settled into the barracks or returned home before calling Renji to his desk. The redhead's face was somber, still touched with sadness over the death of the royal family and the growing worries about what was going to happen. He hoped that Byakuya would abandon his usual closed-mouth nature and give him some news about what the taichous had been told about their situation. He looked up into the shadowed gray eyes and was stricken with the feeling that something bad was about to happen. On the surface, Byakuya looked as calm as ever, but Renji could feel the reiatsu boiling beneath the surface, threatening to ignite.

"I imagine that you are wondering what is happening and what will be done about the loss of the royal family."

"I remember Soutaichou saying something about an Interim King and a Consort. It seems pretty obvious what they're going to do, Taichou."

He hadn't meant to offend Byakuya, but the sudden flare of reiatsu told him he had stepped over a line. The problem for Renji was that he wasn't sure what he had done that was so offensive. He lowered his head apologetically and was surprised when Byakuya reached out and lifted his chin to meet the noble's eyes.

"Soutaichou has forbidden us to speak about the rebirth ritual with anyone but those directly involved in some way in the rebirth. I have been given leave to relay this information to you."

_Huh? Does that mean I'm to be involved or…_

"The loss of the royal family has caused our worlds to begin to destabilize. If we were to do nothing, then all shinigami, humans and hollows would slowly lose their powers and our worlds would collide, destroying all of them."

"Shit, Taichou! What do we do?" Renji asked breathlessly.

"The rebirth ritual will stop the decline of our worlds. But while the ritual takes place, our squads will be responsible for keeping order and making sure that the populace does not panic and go out of control. That is why Soutaichou has ordered that only us few should know the truth of what is happening. We must maintain order."

"Hai, Taichou, I understand…but…"

"While the squads work to keep order in the Seireitei, the Interim King and Consort must travel to the spirit dimension and be sealed into the palace."

"So then they make a child together?" Renji asked.

Something in the way Byakuya was looking at him made Renji feel quivery inside.

"The Interim King will bathe in the waters of purification in the King's Garden, then will receive the former king's reiatsu into his body from the King's Prism. His body will render the old king's reiatsu into a new reiatsu, which will be placed within the Consort's body through multiple acts of mating."

"Well…that doesn't sound too bad…"

Byakuya ignored him.

"As the reiatsu collects within the Consort, it will slowly stabilize and eventually it will emerge and form the new king. When that happens, the Interim King and Consort will have completed their duties and will return to the Seireitei with no further expectations."

"So…do you know who is going to be going to do this stuff, Taichou? Have they chosen an Interim King and Consort?" Renji asked.

"They have," Byakuya said.

Renji was unnerved by the touch of uncertainty in Byakuya's voice.

"It was necessary that the Consort be taichou level and that the person be virginal. The consort must sacrifice all powers and the connection with zanpakutou to make room within for the acceptance of the king's reiatsu. The Consort must also agree to travel to the spirit dimension and be sealed into the palace with the Interim King and to submit to the Interim King's need to transfer the rendered reiatsu through mating."

"So…who did they choose to do that?" Renji asked, his heart pounding strangely in his chest.

"I agreed to act as Consort," Byakuya said calmly.

"Wha..? You, Taichou? But…you said…"

"I was married, but because of my wife's poor health, we never consummated the marriage…so I am virginal."

"But…you said…mating…" Renji stammered.

"It is the way in which the reiatsu is transferred and does not require that the Consort be female. But the Interim King must be male…to distribute the rendered reiatsu."

"Whoa…wait a minute! Taichou…you mean you're going to go and stay with some stranger and have your first sexual experience be with someone you don't know or love? That's crazy! How can you agree to do that?"

He saw a moment…a flash of fear in Byakuya's eyes, then he closed them and bowed his head slightly.

"If I do nothing…they could possibly purify someone else with the waters in the King's Garden, but that reduces the chances of successful mating. It is best to have a virginal Consort and I was the only qualified taichou level shinigami."

"So…they are making you do this?" Renji asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"No, Renji, I chose to do this…because as the one with the best chance of success, I have a duty to assist in this."

"And having sex with some stranger? That's your duty too?" Renji asked, his reiatsu flaring.

He couldn't quite figure out why the thought of Byakuya doing this was making him so damned angry…

"I will not be with a stranger. The Interim King who was chosen is someone I know."

"Oh," Renji sighed, feeling a bit relieved, but still unusually agitated, "Well…Taichou…I hope it is someone who you…you know…like. It would be sad to have it be with someone you weren't on good terms with…"

"It does not matter how I feel about him, Renji. This is my duty. I am doing this to protect the Seireitei, my clan...Rukia…"

"And you think, just like that, you can have sex and have it mean nothing? Taichou…I know it's for the right reasons, but…I think you're going to find out that it won't be as easy as you think. Sex isn't just an act of mating, Taichou. It is more than that. I worry that you will go there and find out later that it wasn't as easy as you thought to give yourself to someone like that."

"Nothing of what I feel matters in this, Renji. This is simply necessary and there is no way around it, so, I feel I have no choice. I will do what is necessary and then I will return home. All that is taken away will be returned when my mission is complete."

"But you'll be away from home in a strange place…and separated from your powers, from your zanpakutou. Taichou…"

"Renji," said Byakuya with forced calm, "are you telling me that I shouldn't do this? Are you telling me that if it were you that you would choose differently?"

Renji went quiet for a moment.

"I…no…I think that because of the situation…I guess I would choose to do what I could to help."

"I know you would," Byakuya said, his voice becoming strangely soft, "and that is why I know that you will do your part in this as well. You have a strong sense of duty, as do I. And I know that, to protect the ones we love, you would do what is necessary…even though it might be unpleasant."

"Well…yeah, I would."

He sat, scratching the back of his neck and trying to think of something to say.

"Um, Taichou…what am I to do? Will I go as your guard or…"

"No one may enter the palace during the rebirth ritual except the Interim King and Consort."

"But you said I have a part in this…What am I going to do?"

Byakuya met his eyes squarely.

"It was decided that you would be the most suitable to act as Interim King," he said calmly.

Renji's eyes went wide and he caught his breath sharply.

"B-but, Taichou…T-taichou?"

His head spun, trying to cope with Byakuya's words.

"But I…I…I can't…" he stammered.

"You must. You are the one most likely to be successful in rendering the former king's reiatsu. Soutaichou used many tests to determine this."

Renji put a hand to his head and tried to calm the racing of his heart.

"I can't do that, Taichou. I can't just…do that…to you," he managed.

"You won't have to fight your instincts, Renji. When you bathe in the purification waters, you will emerge with no memory of your former life here. And the former king's reiatsu will drive your instincts. It will not be a concern to you."

"M-my memory will be…gone?" Renji said, moving his hand to his stomach and leaning forward, "Taichou, I think I'm going to be sick…"

He felt his heart skip when Byakuya's palm came to rest on his shoulder.

"Will I…ever be…myself again?" he asked weakly.

Byakuya nodded.

"When the new king emerges, we will regain what we have lost and will return here unharmed…and we will have stopped our worlds from colliding. Renji, I realize that this is too much to ask of you, but I hope you will be able to accept it as I have. I know that you are unnerved by the loss of memory and the fact that we will be engaging in intimacy, but…there really is nothing else we can do. You must see that."

"Taichou…I'm worried…for you and for me. Will you lose your memories too? Will we remember what we do…after…when we come back?"

Byakuya stared for a moment, then seemed to gather himself.

"Because I am virginal, I do not need purification. Therefore, I will not lose my memory. And to my knowledge, whatever occurs while we dwell in the palace will remain in our memories when we return."

He studied Renji for a moment.

"Have I answered all of your questions, Abarai fukutaichou?" Byakuya asked.

Renji paused, taking several deep, slow breaths.

"Just one more question, Taichou…" he said finally, "Taichou, I need to know honestly how you feel about having sex with me like that…just from a sense of duty. Is this really okay with you?"

Byakuya sighed and lowered his eyes.

"That is a pointless question, Abarai," he said quietly, "The only honest answer to that is that it has to be."

The words sounded sincere enough, but the dark gray eyes betrayed his uncertainty.

"I…will say, however, that it is a comfort that such actions will take place with one who I trust."

Renji knew better to push for more than that. He gave Byakuya what he hoped looked like a good-natured smile.

"So, uh, when do we have to go, Taichou?"

"We leave now. We take nothing. Soutaichou wants to keep this as private as possible for our sakes. Only the taichous will know our full mission."

Renji hadn't the heart to disillusion Byakuya, so he simply nodded and started to rise. He stopped and stared as Byakuya stood and removed his kenseiken, ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, haori and wrist guards. Without them, he looked decidedly smaller, more slender and deceptively fragile.

"You will not bring your zanpakutou. After the memory loss, you will not be connected in any case, so it is best to leave it behind."

Byakuya turned and started for the door. Gazing back for a moment at the markers of his Taichou's status and two zanpakutou that rested in their stands, Renji turned to follow.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji swallowed hard as they passed into the palace and the new members of the royal guard sealed the entrance behind them. They walked through the empty halls, haunted by the memory of the carnage they had seen the day of the murders. With every step that carried them closer to the King's Garden, Renji's heart pounded harder and harder. He took calming breaths, but felt his heart pound even harder when Byakuya stopped in the throne room and picked up a large, beautiful, multicolored prism. They passed through the doors into the King's Garden and Byakuya turned back to close the doors. Renji felt as though his stomach was in knots as the doors were sealed and Byakuya turned to face him.

"The purification pool is this way," Byakuya said softly, "Come, Renji."

"Uh…Taichou, can't we…uh…wait a few minutes? An hour? Have dinner together or something?" he asked, wanting like crazy to slow things down.

Byakuya frowned uncertainly.

"Why would we wait?" he asked, "We need to begin as soon as possible. Our loved ones are waiting for us, Renji. Their safety is in our hands. There is nothing to be gained by waiting…and while we dwell here, there is no need for nourishment."

He held the prism in his hands and extended them.

"We need to remove my powers…so that I will be able to host the king's reiatsu," Byakuya said in a soft, uncertain voice.

Renji extended his hands and placed them on the prism. Both lowered their heads in concentration. The reiatsu around them rose sharply and Renji heard Byakuya bite back a soft, pained cry. Light shot out of the prism and surrounded his body, making it glow a bright blue. Byakuya winced as the power was slowly drawn out of him and sent into the prism. His breathing grew short and ragged and Renji could feel that he was shaking. The sick feeling was returning to his stomach. But as the light died and he prepared to ask if Byakuya was all right, the noble gave a sudden, pained gasp and dropped to the ground on his hands and knees. For just a moment, Renji caught a glimpse of intense fear and pain. Then calm retook his features and he pushed himself back so that he sat with his legs curled beneath him.

"Taichou…" Renji said softly, "are…are you okay?"

Byakuya nodded.

"I am fine," he managed, "It was just…sudden. That's all."

"D-do I have to…?"

"No," Byakuya assured him, "Your powers are needed for rendering the reiatsu."

"That doesn't seem quite fair, does it?" mused Renji.

Byakuya ignored him.

"Go now and bathe in the waters of that pool," he said, motioning to a shallow pool at the center of the garden.

Renji stared back at him for a moment.

"What is wrong, Renji?" Byakuya asked softly.

"Taichou…I…I'm sorry you have to do this. Really…I wish…that your first experience could be with someone you love. I know you don't think that matters…but I do."

His heart in his throat, he moved closer and sat down in front of Byakuya. The noble stared back at him questioningly. Breaking every known rule, Renji reached out and wrapped Byakuya in a warm embrace. The noble froze for a moment, looking deeply conflicted, then slowly relaxed into the embrace. He let Renji hold him for one long moment, then gently pulled away.

"Go now, Renji."

The redhead nodded solemnly and climbed back to his feet. He glanced back only once and saw an unreadable expression in Byakuya's eyes. Then he was at the water's edge and looking down, trying not to shake as he thought about what he had to do. Letting everything else fall away, Renji focused on the fact that this was for the ones they loved, for the worlds they protected, and slowly, step-by-step, he entered the pool.


	3. The Taking

**Chapter 3: The Taking**

Byakuya watched in silence as Renji stepped into the purification waters. As soon as his feet sank in, the water began to bubble around his ankles and a curious expression came over his face. Then he was moving forward, sinking in deeper and a mist rose around him so that he disappeared from Byakuya's sight. The sight was both a relief, in that he could finally have a moment to deal with the intense emotions sweeping through him without Renji noting his every change of expression, but it was also disturbing in that he had no certainty who he would be looking at when Renji emerged from the pool.

He decided to use the time to calm the racing of his heart. It had been racing madly ever since picking up the prism and having it strike him what he was about to do, what he had given up, and what would happen to him before he could return home. And then, there was Renji to consider…how sick he had looked upon learning what he had to do. Byakuya wondered briefly what had been more difficult for Renji…knowing what he would be responsible for doing…or the fact he would be doing these things with Byakuya. Despite the fact that they had grown more comfortable with each other since Aizen's betrayal, he doubted Renji had ever thought that he would be having sex with his taichou. And Byakuya had never felt an attraction to Renji…or an overwhelming urge to have sex with anyone.

_"Taichou…I know it's for the right reasons, but…I think you're going to find out that it won't be as easy as you think. Sex isn't just an act of mating, Taichou. It is more than that. I worry that you will go there and find out later that it wasn't as easy as you thought to give yourself to someone like that."_

And he couldn't say that Renji was wrong. He simply didn't know how he would feel. So he resolved not to concern himself with that until it became necessary for him to do so. But…he realized that might not be a very long time. As soon as Renji accepted the king's reiatsu from the prism, the rendering would begin…and he was uncertain how long it would then be before the Interim King was filled with the instinct to mate.

He pushed the sick feeling away and tried to release a little burst of reiatsu, then realized it was impossible as his powers were gone. And what that meant was beginning to really sink in. He was alone in the garden with what amounted to a powerful stranger and waiting for that stranger to attempt to have sex with him. A shiver went through him as he tried to force the thought away again.

But it was hard to think of anything else as his body shivered softly at the unusual feeling of emptiness. Not only were his powers gone, but Senbonzakura's voice was gone from his mind. It seemed suddenly colder and Byakuya wrapped his arms around his midsection, leaning forward and feeling the sick feeling returning. The intensity of the feeling of weakness without his powers and the lonely feeling of losing Senbonzakura set his heart racing again and it took several minutes to regain control.

He decided that it was useless to sit there worrying about it and climbed to his feet to take a walk around the gardens. He remained close to the purification waters so that when Renji emerged, he would be there. He distracted himself by noting the huge variety of flowers and trees in the garden, then studied the sky as the afternoon gave way to evening and the stars began to emerge. He decided that if it was going to happen soon, the darkness might be a good thing.

A chill went through him as he heard the bubbling sound begin to recede. He returned to the water's edge and stood quietly, waiting as Renji reappeared and walked back to meet him. He shivered softly as his eyes met the blank looking brown eyes and it struck him that Renji was essentially gone for the duration of their time in the garden. He felt an unexpected burning in his eyes as he reached for the prism and set Renji's hands on the side opposite his. Immediately, power flashed around them and slowly the king's reiatsu began to flow out of the prism. It lifted and wrapped around Renji like a shimmering golden curtain. He was beautiful like that, Byakuya thought…but beautiful in a very cold way, with the empty eyes and shaded features. He was nothing like the warm and brash fukutaichou he remembered and…and…cared for.

_I do care for him._

He cared for the Renji he remembered…the one who smiled and said good morning to him every day, the one who made his tea the way he enjoyed it, the one whose kido exploded half the time when he tried to use it, who would sleep all day if not forced to come to work, who sometimes dropped off to sleep while working at his desk…the one who had cared enough to plead with him about what he was doing…because…

_He is that kind of person._

But the one wrapped in the golden curtain was nothing like the Renji he remembered. His eyes were filling with hot, golden power, but his expression remained cold and empty. He must, Byakuya decided, have to focus so much of his energy on the rendering that he had nothing left for emotions…or maybe a soul king didn't need emotions…but how then could he rule wisely?

The light from the prism fell away and the curtain faded. Byakuya caught his breath sharply as he realized that something about Renji had changed. His skin was still tanned golden brown, but now the tattoos that marked his skin were as sparkling and golden as the curtain around him had been. He reeled as he noticed as well that the brown eyes that had looked into his so many times were golden as well. He stepped close to Byakuya, studying him for a moment, then handed him the King's Prism.

"You are my Consort," he said in an emotionless voice that bore little resemblance to Renji's.

"Hai, I am Kuchiki Byakuya."

"We have no need for names here. You are my Consort and I am your King. Do you understand your place?"

Byakuya froze at the coldness in that voice. It was a coldness he had heard over and over growing up and then it was poured into him and he used it with everyone. It was the way that a master spoke to his servants. Byakuya swallowed hard and stared.

"I asked you if you know your place."

"Hai, my lord," he said in a thick voice.

The sick feeling returned and became overwhelming. He tried to breathe through it, but found it impossible. His heart was racing too fast and his head was beginning to spin. He was vaguely aware of the other moving closer, but felt shock burst through him as a strong hand wrapped around his wrist and another took hold of his chin.

"They chose well, Consort. You will be acceptable for this task."

He started to pull away, but the hand around his wrist tightened and the one holding his chin reached down to untie the belt at his waist. He froze in place, forcing himself not to move as he was quickly deprived of his clothing.

It should have been easy for him to do, to stand unmoving like that as he was undressed. He had never been overly self-conscious and, he told himself, the king had the right to undress him at will. That was why he was here. He could say the words in his mind and he could force himself to stand still as his clothing was removed…and even as the blank looking golden eyes raked his body with a hungry glare.

But when the king's arms wrapped around his body and began to lower him to the ground, the embrace Renji had given him just before entering the pool came back to him with shattering force. It had been warm and caring and full of affection, nothing like these arms that held him just for the purpose of bringing him to the ground.

He was going to…

He couldn't even think it.

He couldn't bear to feel it.

It was like Renji had tried to tell him. It would have been difficult enough to surrender to those warmer arms that had held him before. This way was unbearable. He began to shake uncontrollably as he reached the ground and the king's glowing golden form rose up to block out the stars overhead.

He couldn't look into those cold emotionless eyes and…

But they were looking at him and the king's hand came to rest over his racing heart.

"Do not be anxious. I will be gentle with you."

The words did nothing to calm him. His head spun and his breath moved in and out too quickly. He was losing control and felt a cry rising in his throat. The king's eyes held his for a moment and then a feeling of dizziness passed over him and the scene around him faded. He could feel the strong hands working quickly, carefully preparing his body, but no longer had the ability to make his body react. He was screaming inside, but not able to move as the king finished preparing him and moved into position over him. He couldn't bear to meet those cold, emotionless eyes as the king entered him. He forced his head to turn aside and closed his eyes.

The king did not kiss him or touch him in any intimate way. He only entered him and waited as Byakuya's body adjusted. Then he moved in and out of the noble's unmoving body, slowly at first and then gradually faster. Byakuya felt the dizzy feeling increase and realized suddenly that he was holding his breath. He released it and tried to breathe in, but found it forced out again in a short, pained sob as his body reacted in a way that defied control. The sound didn't seem to register with the king. He continued the unforgiving motion for several long minutes before his body stiffened and pain exploded through Byakuya as the first of the rendered reiatsu was forced into his body. He forced himself to remain still as the king emptied himself, then withdrew and sat up next to him.

"You will adjust to the feel of the reiatsu entering your body. It was a shock this time because the feeling is new."

He rose and walked away, leaving Byakuya lying naked on his back, looking up into the stars. He waited until he was sure he was alone, then rose and walked to the bathing pool on the far side of the purification pool. He stood under a small waterfall, letting the icy water wash away the feel of those strong hands, the memory of the invasive touches, everything that tore at his beleaguered mind and threatened to overwhelm him. He tried to think back to the early days of his training as a young noble…but he had never been prepared for feeling like this…used, nameless, worthless…

No matter how long he remained in the water, the feeling would not leave him. He still felt those hands and the cold eyes and the invasion of his body. The dizziness rose up in him again and nausea passed through him. He staggered to the edge of the pool and collapsed onto his hands and knees, retching…but even when he had loosed everything, the scent of crushed grass and flowers refused to leave his skin.

He walked back and picked up his white yukata, slipping it on and looking around, trying to decide where to lie down for the night. It was ice-cold in the garden, but he hated the thought of sleeping in the bedrooms of the palace, where the ghosts of the murdered royal family seemed to be all around. He didn't know where the king had gone and he only wished he knew so that he might avoid that other.

But it wasn't as though the contact had been unexpected or forceful. The king had been deliberately gentle and had not left a mark or bruise anywhere on his body. And yet, every inch of him felt pain. It might not be physical, but it was every bit as real…every bit as deep.

He forced the pain away and found a spot beneath a small sakura tree that seemed somewhat sheltered by the surrounding bushes and plants. He settled with his back against the tree, his eyes slowly scanning the darkened garden and the trees. He shivered softly beneath the too-thin yukata, but tuned the feeling out. He remained awake for several hours before dropping down and curling slightly to fend off the cold. The intense emotions had left him drained and it was a relief to give in to the drowsiness, to drift off and try to forget where he was, who he was now, what he was doing there. He slept soundly, despite the cold and woke, surprised to find that a warm cloak had been placed carefully over him as he slept.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya slipped out from underneath the warmth of the cloak and rose with the first touches of light. He walked slowly back to the palace doors and opened them, passing into the large throne room. He went out the other set of doors and followed the corridors, looking into the rooms and studying the colors, the furniture, anything and everything that could distract him, that could help him bide his time so that he wouldn't think about the next time the king would come to him.

There shouldn't have been anything frightening about it. Of course, the first time would have been the worst. Not knowing what to expect had made him shaky and uncertain. The next time, he would proceed more calmly, relaxing his body and accepting the invasive touches with grace and poise. Because he was, by doing this, serving the needs of all three worlds. He was doing this for the good of the clan, for the good of his loved ones. And yet, some part of him doubted. That part of him nagged at him and warned him that it wasn't likely to get much easier, especially given that the one doing this to him was Renji…

But then…it really wasn't Renji exactly…

He sighed in confusion.

He wondered if perhaps it would have been better if the other had been a stranger. It would have been frightening as well…but there was a tearing down of walls that had happened after Aizen Sosuke's betrayal…a loosening, a giving of trust. And that trust had been honored and respected by both. Although the king had not been cruel and had, in fact, seen to his comfort as much as he was able, the kindness and warmth that Renji had always exuded was gone. There was no familiarity in these eyes and there was no mercy.

The king saw Byakuya as a vessel for the king's reiatsu, important to keep sufficiently well to bear the new king, but not important enough to grant a name…or any sort of affection. But nobles were a class that taught their children to refrain from great shows of affection…to refrain from great shows of any emotion. He had been carefully trained to shut down his own emotions until it was second nature. He wondered sadly if there was any portion of Renji that felt that shutting down as he had growing up. It had hurt to learn that coldness. And it had hurt him even more to inflict it on others, but he had been forced to harden to it, to accept it as his noble forebears had…and he had, on occasion, been that cold to Renji.

So perhaps he was getting what he deserved. Perhaps he deserved to become nameless, to be reduced to a vessel meant to contain something of value, but not to be of value himself. Perhaps he deserved to have his first sexual experience be filled with the same coldness as all things noble. He was, after all a noble. And he had learned early on about the ugliness that lived beneath that pretty surface.

Yes…he deserved this.

But unfortunately, that didn't make it any easier to bear. It didn't give him any tools for handling the numbing shock, the deep emotional scarring, the endless ache, the desire to scream…and it couldn't help him deal with the feeling of betrayal as the cold emotionless voice rose up behind him again and those hands took hold of him, heedless of where they were or what he might be doing.

_It isn't Renji. He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't want this and when he remembers, he won't want to forgive himself, so I must be careful not to show how much it hurts. I don't want him to remember that. I don't want him to know what pain existed._

He laid calmly beneath the body of the king and turned his face away.

_It is better this way. It is better that he never knows._


	4. Easing the Pain

**Chapter 4: Easing the Pain**

Byakuya woke to find that he had been moved to a soft, comfortable bed, somewhere within the palace and he couldn't help but be somewhat bolstered by the fact that if the king truly had no feelings for him, he simply would have left him lying on the floor in the room he had been in when the last mating had occurred. So the king did have some basic concern for his welfare, most likely because of their interdependence…not true affection. It wasn't much, but it was something.

He started to get up, but felt a pain move through his midsection and paused for a moment, breathing calmly through the sensation until it eased and he could move again. He was certain now that the process was working, because he felt power forming inside him. He knew better than to use any of it. To do so would be to steal power and life from the developing king. His job was simply to carry the rendered reiatsu and to allow his body to stabilize it so that it could later emerge and take the form of the new king. Still, it was a small comfort to not feel quite so empty.

He climbed to his feet and resumed his slow, methodical exploration of his new surroundings, sighing at how it reminded him of the large, impressive homes of some of the nobles. His own manor was much less grandiose. It had never been the way of the Kuchiki family to pour their finances into markings of splendor. The house itself at Kuchiki Manor was large and it was elegantly furnished, but unlike the palace, his manor was more about physical and spiritual comfort than about displays of wealth. What gave Kuchiki Manor its unique beauty was the large garden and the forested areas…and the lake and meadow areas beyond. The simple truth being that nature provided a great deal of beauty and one didn't need to augment it with displays of material wealth. It wasn't, he realized, the most popular viewpoint among noble families, but in addition to walking their own path in life, the Kuchiki nobles were resolved not to allow others to interfere with the estimation of self-worth, and it wasn't the having of wealth that was important anyway. It was taking what was given and using it in proper ways, to support the well being of the society that honored them, to improve what they could, while realizing that they were not in control of everything and to pave the way for their children and their children's children.

Byakuya sighed softly as he considered how he had never really thought before about what it would be like to have children. It probably wasn't important now, as the life he was beginning to feel growing inside him was not his own child. And despite carrying it, he would have no part in the new king's future. Once that life entered the world, his usefulness here would end and he would be returned to the Seireitei to resume the life he had left. And while that was a light at the end of this dark tunnel, he couldn't help but wonder _how_ he would resume his life…emptied of the king's reiatsu, and removed from this place…Would he be able to forget and move on?

He realized that was a dangerous line of thinking and abandoned it

He focused instead on making himself familiar with the endless rooms and hallways of the palace. He would never in his life have another opportunity to experience it this way, so it made sense to be thorough in his exploration.

There was one room in particular that he was seeking with purpose. As much as the Kuchiki's were charged with the other duties given to the nobles by the Spirit King, they also served as the vault for knowledge and history in the Seireitei. The archive at Kuchiki Manor was second only to the one that existed somewhere in this place. If he was going to be trapped within the palace and in need of distraction, the library would be the greatest comfort to him. He was an avid reader, both of the drier historical texts and the livelier recreational outpourings of myth and legend. He especially loved the myths relating to the stars and marveled how, wherever he went, different groups of people…shinigami…human…hollow, all had their own understanding of those calm lights that lit their skies at night. The tales were many and so varied that even in the time he had been clan leader, he hadn't made a dent in the mythical writings there. But those, he could peruse at his own pace. As he would never return here, it would be enjoyable…breathtaking even to see what treasures this library held.

He had just spotted the library when the king appeared suddenly in front of him. Suddenly, his thoughts scattered and the darkness inside began to return. He wondered at himself for allowing such dark feeling to hold him so tightly, so tightly that the mere sight of this other could send everything plunging into the abyss. But then, there was only one reason that the king had for seeking him out.

And suddenly, he didn't want to exist for only that reason. For some reason, he wanted his existence here to have more meaning than that. It was stupid of him to think that way, of course. What more meaning could his life have than saving the colliding worlds? What greater purpose could a noble life have than bringing forth the next king? This was a relatively short period of his life, considering…so it wasn't so much to ask that he stay here and give himself unselfishly to this task.

But he had never for a moment thought that something like this would be asked of him. He knew he was unique among the nobles for being chosen to do this. It was an honor. And so being, it was something he shouldn't shrink from.

But as that strong hand settled around his wrist…as he was taken down onto the floor, somehow the honor seemed lost. He caught himself holding his breath again and released it, trying to ignore the sudden revulsion he felt at the touch of those hands, at the glare of the golden eyes he refused to meet. He swallowed hard and turned his head aside, trying to focus on the sight of the library, only steps away and waiting for him to explore it.

He had almost made peace with what was happening, had almost disappeared into thoughts of the library, when all at once a hand took hold of his face and turned his eyes to meet the golden eyes of the king. As their eyes met, the king began to enter him. And suddenly all thought fled except one.

_I cannot do this._

And before he knew what was happening, he was struggling against the hands that held him down, pushing forcefully at the body that held his trapped. He twisted and started to pull free, then felt a flash of the king's power and dropped to the floor unable to move. He waited for the king to admonish him for the way he had reacted, but he merely turned back to preparing, moving into position, sinking into Byakuya's immobilized body again. The one comfort he had left was that he could move enough to close his eyes. And this time, the king did not try to force him to make eye contact.

He couldn't do that. He couldn't look into the king's eyes while they were together like that. Because when he looked into the king's eyes, he still saw Renji. But Renji had ceased to exist when they arrived and he wouldn't return until their work here was done. So he closed his eyes and let his mind wander back to thoughts of the worlds and their mythologies, of pages and pages of shining heroes and beautiful heroines who fought their enemies with valiant hearts and whose lives actually meant something.

He realized suddenly that the king had stopped moving and he opened his eyes. The golden eyes were looking down at his face and one hand reached out and touched his cheek. It sent a chill through him, but he knew struggle was useless, so he laid quietly, wondering when the king would leave him…when he could go and bury himself in the books that were only steps away, waiting to ease his pain. He was not only unprepared when the king spoke to him, he was wholly unprepared for the question.

"Why are you crying?"

He hadn't even realized…

But he was. The king's fingers were wet where they had touched him and he could feel now that he was shaking and that more tears were falling. But how could he explain it? This powerful, cold being couldn't possibly understand, because if he did then he would never be doing what he was doing.

"I asked you why you are crying."

He didn't trust his voice, so he merely looked up into the deep golden eyes and forced his body to calm, forced the tears to stop. He freed a hand and brushed them away, then summoned the strength forced into him by the years of his grandfather's teachings. This was his king, his superior. It didn't matter at all that he looked like Renji. It didn't matter how Byakuya felt about what was happening. What mattered was his obedience.

"I am sorry. Please continue."

The words were unbearable, but they were also necessary. And as much as he hated what was happening, the alternative to this was the end of all things. It wasn't, he told himself again, so much of a sacrifice. The noble families were sworn to serve the king. And the king could ask anything of any of them at any time. All nobles knew this. This is what his king had asked of him and it was his duty to act accordingly. He looked up into the golden eyes, waiting. They stared back at him with something approaching curiosity. Then, a warm palm settled onto his cheek.

"I want to understand why you are in pain," the king said, "You agreed to be my Consort, did you not?"

"I did."

"And you knew what would be expected when you made that choice, did you not?"

"I knew."

"And I have done nothing to cause you injury?"

"No."

"And I have been gentle with you."

"Yes."

"Then why are you in such pain?"

He knew better than to deny it. It was a useless lie when faced with the fact that the king was quite capable of seeing through any deception.

"Although I know this is important, my heart is not in this."

"So while your mind is resolved and your body compliant, your heart is resistant."

"Yes."

"And this is what caused you to shed tears?"

_Could he really not understand?_

"Yes…On occasion, the body will weaken…will surrender to the will of the heart…and tears will fall. I apologize for my weakness in allowing that to happen."

The golden eyes continue to look down into his curiously.

"I do not understand matters of the heart. My task is to provide the new king's power. It is your job to give the new king his heart and conscience."

"What?"

"You mean to say that you do not understand why you are here?"

Byakuya stared.

"I am here to assist in the birth of the new king."

"That is not the whole of your mission."

"I am to receive the rendered reiatsu and my body will stabilize it. Once I am filled and it has stabilized, the new king will emerge."

"But as much as my job is to render the reiatsu…yours is to stabilize it…and the reiatsu will not stabilize properly unless your mind, body and heart are accepting. You are threatening our mission."

Byakuya closed his eyes and released his breath in a soft sigh.

"How is that?" he asked.

"Your pain is interfering with the stabilization process."

Now he felt a touch of anger.

"So…you are asking me not to _feel_ anything?"

"I am charging you with the responsibility of addressing your pain. If you do not release yourself from it, then the mating will not be successful."

"I am not unwilling to do this, but…I don't know how to stop it."

"Would you prefer to have your senses dulled when we mate?"

Byakuya stared in surprise.

"You concern yourself with my pain?"

"As I said, we will not be successful if your pain interferes. So we must ease it. If I know what is causing you pain, then I can address it."

It made sense.

"I don't wish to be nameless."

Not that his name mattered, but it _was_ affecting him.

The king blinked slowly and nodded.

"I would prefer that we share a bed."

Another short nod.

"And I would like to be kissed and touched with some amount of affection."

The next thing he knew, he was being lifted and carried back down the hallways and corridors to the bedroom. The king set him down in the bed and settled next to him, leaning over him.

"Show me how you would like to be kissed."

Byakuya looked back at the king questioningly.

"If I am to ease your pain, I need to know what brings you comfort," the solemn voice explained.

And it seemed to Byakuya that it had become somewhat less cold.

"Show me how you would like to be kissed," the king said again.

He thought back to his days with Hisana. They had kissed and it had been pleasant. But their kisses had been light and tentative…and the king hadn't asked how he _had_ been kissed, but how he _wanted_ to be kissed. So he reached up and put his hands on the king's face and pulled him closer, so their bodies were touching. Then he lifted his head slightly and met the warm lips tentatively at first, and then with increasing pressure. The king merely accepted his kisses at first and Byakuya could feel that he was taking in what it was like, so he opened his mouth and thrust his tongue into the king's heated mouth, and he felt the warmth of their kissing flood his body. And soon, the king's lips began to respond to his, and his tongue invaded Byakuya's mouth, stroking his warmly, then moving on to touch and explore the surfaces and depths. And he felt himself growing breathless and inside, something was happening.

"Our kissing has made you aroused."

He couldn't help but smile and it would do him no good to deny it. So he merely nodded and enjoyed the continuance of their kissing.

"Do you want to be touched with affection now?"

A laugh escaped him.

"How can you touch me with affection? Do you even understand it?"

"No…it is your task to instruct me."

"Well, to touch someone with affection, you have to feel affection first. It isn't difficult for me because before you were the king, you were Abarai Renji."

"And you were affected by him."

"Well, perhaps not sexually, but I do feel affection for Renji, so when I look at you, I feel like I am close to him."

"Renji felt affection for you as well…and he was often sad because you would not express it to him."

Byakuya sighed.

"I know that."

"And yet you did nothing about it?"

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because it is not the way of the nobles to express deep emotion."

"And yet you are aware that not showing you emotions can cause pain. You knew it caused him pain that you would not express more and you know that it is painful when I do not express affection for you. So why then do the nobles teach their children to do something that causes them pain?"

Byakuya stared in surprise at the question.

"I don't know," he said softly.

The questions ceased then and the king began kissing him again and this time he entered more slowly. And his hands touched Byakuya's face with tenderness. Then one slipped down between them and pleasured him, encouraging his body to move. He grew breathless again and dizzy, but this time, the feeling was a pleasant one. Something was happening between them…a bond was forming, a connection opening. He had never felt anything like it. He sank into the kisses hungrily now and moved in heavy thrusts against the king's body. And this time, he felt like he had begun to fall over the edge of a cliff. He lost the ability to breathe, to move, to _do_ anything…except to feel the hum of life in his body again as hot seed erupted and spilled out between them…as the king's body pulsed and throbbed, filling him with the new king's reiatsu and moving things forward.

And after the release of pressure, that warm mouth met his endlessly, and their hearts continued to beat at that rapid pace.

"Renji!"

He didn't know why he said it…why it had felt so natural to release it with such affection. He stopped for a moment and looked up into the golden eyes, hoping he hadn't done damage. They were observing him closely.

"I am sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You were expressing affection for the soul whose body I am using. This has eased your pain. That is a good thing."

"It doesn't matter to you that my feelings are for Renji?" he asked softly.

"It is Renji's body. It is understandable that you would connect with the one you know."

"But when I said his name like that, I wasn't thinking of his body. What made me say his name was that I was thinking of his heart…his affection…all of the affection he ever showed me."

"And you are falling in love with Renji's heart?"

Byakuya frowned uncertainly.

"I'm afraid that I don't know the answer to that."

"Well, perhaps it will become clear to you when he returns."

"Perhaps…"

The king started to pull away, but Byakuya placed a staying hand on his arm. The king looked back at him questioningly.

"It would ease my pain if you would stay," he said quietly.

The king gazed at him for a moment, nodded briefly and settled down next to him. Moments later, Byakuya turned and curled into his arms.

"Good night, my lord," Byakuya said softly.

"Good night, Byakuya."

The smile didn't leave his lips even after he fell asleep in the king's arms.


	5. The Fever

**Chapter 5: The Fever**

Byakuya surprised himself by leaving the palace without returning to the library. The return of some sense of equilibrium left him longing for fresh air and the smell of sakura, so he walked back down the hallways, listening to the soft echoes of his footsteps and passed through the throne room doors into the King's Garden. To say it was a garden was a misnomer. The expanse of color and life went on for miles in every direction and included most of the plants and flowers he recognized and many he had never seen before.

He followed numerous pathways, never losing his way, always drawn on by the curious sights, sounds and fragrances, by the feel of dirt and grass under his bare feet, by the touch of soft fern against his skin. Everything was alive and beautiful, and to walk in this place brought back a feeling of strength…of being alive.

Still, even beneath his new contentment, he couldn't help but long for home, for his work in the sixth division, for walks on his own lovely grounds. It might lack much of the foliage in this place, but his own home had a distinctive feel to it, one carefully and fastidiously grown and maintained under Byakuya's own direction. It was a task he need not have concerned himself with. There were plenty of capable gardeners and planners, but given the amount of time he spent there, it meant a great deal to him that it be a place of peace and comfort. It was there to restore and rejuvenate him after long hours of work. It was designed to his particular tastes and it had very specific scents and spiritual markers. This place was more massive and too widely varied. It was meant for the all-powerful monarch, whose ability to experience and appreciate it was more developed than Byakuya's…and that was as it should be. The king, after all, oversaw everything. His mind would enjoy being occupied by this place.

Byakuya stopped to admire a hummingbird lighting on a nearby branch and was suddenly touched by the most unusual of sensations. It started as a tingling sensation deep within the core of his body and radiated slowly outward. The feeling was warm and timid and searching. It touched his senses and paused, then he felt a soft stirring. It was something akin to what he had heard described by women with child as when the baby first moved, but not yet being a physical creature, it instead played along the lines of Byakuya's own spirit, touching and searching, bonding with this other who shared that same body. He let his own life force touch the other and felt the warm flare of affection and acceptance, the feel of gratitude for what he was yielding to bring life to this other. He let himself drop down beneath a plum tree and let the emotions wash over him. It was an exquisite feeling that he had never experienced before.

And now that the life force within him had become sentient, he connected with it and felt a deep desire to see to its protection and growth. It was a great responsibility and he was determined to see to it with all of his heart.

He dropped onto his back and looked up into the blue sky, watching quietly as the puffs of clouds crawled across, swirling and changing as they moved. And he thought about how people too were changed by what they moved through…through the good times and bad, through times that amazed and held deep wonder and the times that tested the soul and left it weary and tired.

"Are you enjoying the scenery here, Byakuya?" asked the king.

He wasn't surprised at the king's presence. As the amount of reiatsu he carried increased, he was able to sense where the king was. He sat up and nodded silently, then settled into the king's arms, resting against him comfortably and still gazing up at the sky.

"I do enjoy the gardens," he said finally, "Thank you for asking."

"I am improving in my ability to help you find contentment, then?" the king went on.

"Hai," agreed Byakuya, closing his eyes for a moment, "I have no complaints. You have been quite accommodating."

"But I have a question to ask you."

Byakuya turned to meet the golden eyes.

"I wish to know if it would be acceptable to you if we were to make love even though there is no reiatsu to place."

The question caught him by surprise.

"You…wish to…"

"I wish to bring the two of us pleasure. Since you explained affection and kissing, I find myself pleased at the thought of it."

Byakuya lowered his eyes respectfully.

"I am here to serve you. I will do as you wish, my lord."

The golden eyes fixed on his.

"I did not ask if you were willing. I asked if you desired this."

Byakuya looked up at him.

"Desire is not a need. And as a noble, I must attend to what is needed. We need to complete the ritual, but our own pleasure is simply a 'want,' and must be resisted."

The golden eyes flared softly with thought.

"You still do not answer the question I asked you, but we will return to that in a moment. First, I must tell you that your view of desire is mistaken."

Byakuya furrowed his brow softly.

"How is that?" he asked.

"Desire is the heart speaking its need to you. Desire is the need of the heart, just as food and drink are needs of the body. Do you understand?"

It was so different from what he had been taught…

"You are not like other nobles, Byakuya," the king told him softly, "I know this because the former king's reiatsu whispers its thoughts to me. You were meant to be as you are. You were meant to differ. You were meant to lead them. And you were meant to change them with the employment of your heart and conscience."

"So, I have a destiny?" he asked.

"You have many purposes. But it is your choosing whether you achieve these or not."

He paused and let his fingers slide through the silken lengths of the noble's fine hair. Byakuya sat calmly, uncertain of the intent…whether it was meant to entice him or merely to acknowledge the bond between creator and creation.

"I must ask you again, Byakuya. Do you desire that we should make love when we are not placing the reiatsu?"

"I do not wish to hurt you by rejecting you," he answered quietly, "but I am not in love with you."

"I am aware of that. I was offering you pleasure, not love."

"I understand," Byakuya answered calmly, "but lovemaking includes the word 'love' for a reason. It is something that should be based on love between beings."

"So because you are not in love with me, you do not desire me, even though I reside within one you love?"

Byakuya froze, staring.

"I…"

"You think about Renji more than you think about most other things, Byakuya."

"I think about Renji because I long for home…and Renji is a part of the home I know. I…"

"Answer carefully Byakuya. I know the content of your thoughts. And you think deeply on Abarai Renji. You think about the way he looks, the way he speaks and acts…the things he has done. And you spend much time considering what you find to be beautiful about him."

"I miss him."

"Would you like for him to emerge?" the king asked.

Byakuya caught his breath and a deep ache passed through his heart.

"No…" he whispered, "No, I…cannot see Renji until this is over."

He felt the king's eyes studying him.

"You long for him yet you choose not to fulfill that need of your heart."

"Because to see him would only make me long for him even more."

"Because you have fallen in love with him?"

He couldn't answer.

"Tell me what you long for."

It was growing hard to breathe again. He didn't want to do this, but the king had asked for an answer…

"I want to go home. I want to wake up in my own room, to rise and dress for work, to share breakfast with my sister, to walk slowly to work, breathing in the fresh air. I want to walk through the doors to my division and sit down at my desk and five minutes later have Renji burst in, cursing his 'lateness' even though he is perfectly on time. I want to hear him greet me and to taste the tea the way only he makes it. I want to feel his fingertips touch my arm as he turns to leave. I want to sit quietly, working and feeling his reiatsu…to feel his eyes when he looks up…to feel his desire to know if I am all right or if I need something…anything. And when the day ends, I want his parting words to stay with me as I walk the cooler path home and settle into my own bed again. These are my desires."

"But do you desire more of him?"

"Why are you asking me this?" Byakuya asked uncertainly.

The king gazed at him solemnly.

"I think you are not ready to address these desires," he said, leaning forward to kiss Byakuya's forehead, "So I will leave you this task to complete before you return home. I want you to know the contents of your heart, to know your desires and be able to speak them."

He rose and turned away.

"The reiatsu will be rendered by sunset. I look forward to seeing you then."

He did not wait for an answer, but disappeared in a flash step, leaving Byakuya beneath the tree.

He stretched out on his back, looking up into the sky and thinking about the king's words.

_Why is Renji so much in my thoughts? Is it really because I am here…far from home and thoughts of Renji comfort me? Or is there something deeper?_

He thought of how it felt when the king lay next to him, how when he closed his eyes, he could feel Renji's presence. He thought about how he caught himself studying the golden tattoos and longing to see them in their characteristic black again. And he thought it would be pleasant to see all of them, the way it was when the king was undressed in his presence. But he was clear on wanting it to be Renji's black markings, his warm reiatsu, his smiling, friendly personality. Yes, being away from home did make him realize an attraction for Renji. He wasn't certain at all when it had begun or how long it had been there beneath the surface. It was nothing he had recognized before, but here, away from the weight of his other stations and responsibilities, he could see that he had indeed been gravitating toward Renji.

But was it _love_?

Where was the line between affection and love?

He remained beneath the tree wondering until the sun began to set and he knew it would soon be time for him to join the king again. As he began to rise, a sharp pain in his midsection made him pause and breathe a few slow breaths. He felt dizzy and overly warm, but decided that it might have been too much sunlight. Turning toward the palace, he shook off the heavy drowsiness he was beginning to feel and tried to force down the apprehension he still felt when he thought about lying with the Interim King. He might, he decided, feel more comfortable with his situation, but that didn't make the situation a good one, just more bearable. It made his task easier to carry out, but that did not mean he enjoyed it. It still felt somehow wrong to send his body to a place his heart would not follow. He couldn't fall for the king because, he realized suddenly, his heart did not desire that. But did that mean that it did desire Renji?

He noticed suddenly that it had begun to grow dark and it seemed he had slowed in his walking more than he realized. He was hot and fatigued, still dizzy and weary. And even as he tried to move faster, a feeling of unease swept over him and he felt the reiatsu within him flutter. He stopped and placed a hand on his abdomen. He could feel the reiatsu fluctuating uncomfortably.

Another sharp pain made him catch his breath. He felt the sweeping reiatsu of the king reaching out, searching for him and he tried to reach out in response, but the pain in his abdomen flared and sharpened.

He lowered himself down onto the ground so that he wouldn't fall and lowered his head, trying to slow his breathing. The reiatsu inside him was crying out in fear. He felt it as sharply as if it was his own. He touched the reiatsu with his life force and tried to understand what was happening, then was hit with an overwhelming rush of fear and pain.

He dropped onto his side, wrapping his arms around his midsection and breathing slowly. The heat in his body was nearly at the point of being unbearable. He felt sweat breaking out on his skin and his heart was pounding too fast, too lightly. His vision was fading and he was losing touch with the growing reiatsu. The garden was fading away and he felt himself sinking into a dark, quiet place inside.

A distant voice reached him, and he felt the touch of cool hands on his face. He heard his name and felt reiatsu searching his body. He was lifted and carried at flash step speed back to the palace. He shivered as he was placed in the bed and his body made contact with the cold sheets. Blankets were pulled over him and healing reiatsu flared around him. He reached down inside and latched on to the growing reiatsu, pulling it close and surrounding it with his life force. It shuddered and pulsed fitfully, then inexplicably, it began to slowly fade.

Panic rose up inside and as he felt the healing reiatsu swirl around him, he suddenly became aware that it was focused, not on the life growing inside of him, but on his own life force. There was a dizzying moment of uncertainty, then a calm voice sounded in his mind.

_"Let go."_

I can't…

His heart raged at the thought. He was charged with stabilizing this reiatsu, with bringing the new king to life. He could not fail in doing that. And, he realized, it was more than that. He couldn't let go of what he had felt before in the gardens, that feeling of being one with the small life growing inside. It didn't matter that the life wasn't fully formed or that they could try again. He had touched a mind, an intelligence one that had reached out to him and connected with him. He couldn't lose that.

_"You cannot save him."_

And yet he had to try…

He held on to the retreating reiatsu, straining against the awful feeling of loss that was building inside. He ignored the king's repeated warnings to release it. He wasn't going to let go…

_"Byakuya, if you do not let go, then you will only join him in death. We can make another attempt, but not if you die with him. You must remember your mission. You must act to save yourself or all is lost. Once we are sealed in the garden, no others can bring forth the king. We can try until we are successful, but if you die, we are left without hope."_

He felt the sensation of hanging on to the edge of a cliff, with a life held in one hand and his own fate suspended on a hand that was slipping free. The king's words cut him, but the idea of failing to bring forth the king was a greater burden. He reached out to the fading other, the one that had been with him, that had connected with his heart, that wanted so much to live. He wrapped his heart around the tiny spark of life and released a burst of affection and regret. He released the contents of his heart, pouring it into the dying reiatsu, sharing in its pain and the feeling of being lost.

His hold on that tiny speck of life loosened and he felt the reiatsu pulse beneath his own. It was with him for one moment longer, long enough to swell with gratitude and longing, then it slowly dropped away and disappeared.

He felt himself beginning to fall, to disappear as well. He couldn't feel his body or his life force any more. He couldn't sense the king or feel if he was still in bed or if he had died and his spirit had broken free. He was lost and alone, unanchored and spinning away. He began to sink into the darkness, to disappear beneath the surface of a sea of calm and quiet. He knew what he was feeling and his heart raged against it.

If he was lost...

He took three worlds with him.

He knew the king reached for him and he reached back.

Slowly, something broke through all of the darkness and caught him as he fell away. It was a single word, in a voice that was loving and achingly familiar.

_Taichou…_


	6. Surfacing

**Chapter 6: Surfacing**

"Taichou…"

He could feel that he was back in bed again. His body still shook with fever and he felt weak and tired. He felt a cool, wet cloth wash the heat away from his face and throat and heard that warm voice again.

"_I'm going to take care of you. Just relax and try to sleep."_

"Renji?"

He fought against the weight that held his eyes closed. Slowly, the heavy eyelids rose. He was sure he couldn't be seeing what he was seeing.

Black tattoos…

Warm eyes that were large and brown and filled with concern…

But the light, respectful touches on his skin were nothing like the touches of the king. While the king's touch was always gentle, it always insisted. These touches offered.

"Renji," he sighed, letting his eyes fall closed again.

He was vaguely aware of someone moving closer, kneeling on the bed beside him. He let everything fall away and sank into a deep sleep. He wasn't certain how long it lasted, but as it receded, he reached out tentatively and his hand found another that twitched softly, then the fingers laced lightly into his.

"How are you feeling, Taichou?" Renji's voice asked.

He didn't want to open his eyes. He was afraid it would be a dream, that he wasn't feeling what he thought he felt.

"If I open my eyes again, will you still be with me, Renji?" he whispered.

The warm hand tightened on his.

"I'm going to stay with you, Taichou. I'll stay with you until you are well again…until…"

Byakuya forced his tired eyes open met the dark brown ones wearily.

"I know I failed to carry the king's reiatsu, Renji. I felt it leave me," he said quietly.

"Hai, but the king assured me that you will be able to begin the process again."

His eyes closed against the darkness that rose up around him at the words. He knew they were meant to comfort. There was no way that Renji could know.

"That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it?" Renji said apologetically, "I'm sorry, Taichou. I know it must be difficult…"

"I will be fine," he assured the redhead calmly, "and you said nothing wrong. You are right in your estimation that the king and I will be able to begin the process again."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you feel the loss…I don't know what that's like, but I know what I see when you look at me."

_I will leave you this task to complete before you return home. I want you to know the contents of your heart, to know your desires and be able to speak them._

He thought he understood the request now.

"It was…deeply painful," he said, his voice tentative, "but it wasn't physical pain so much."

It was all he could manage.

Renji nodded in understanding. He wanted to say more, but he didn't dare push Byakuya when he could read the signs of strain so clearly. It was enough that he had forced the words out. That alone was something deeply unexpected. Renji sensed a need for him to gain more distance. He ran the wet cloth over the noble's face and throat again, then sat back and squeezed his hand.

"You should sleep some more, Taichou," he suggested.

Byakuya looked up at him uncertainly.

"Will you…be here…when I wake?" he asked softly.

Renji nodded.

"I will be here for as long as you need me, Taichou."

_Need, not want. So carefully stated._

He surmised that once he was judged ready to begin the process again, then Renji would disappear and the king would return.

"Will you…?" he began, but he stopped himself before he could finish the request.

"What Taichou?" Renji asked.

_I want you to know the contents of your heart, to know your desires and be able to speak them._

But he couldn't move closer to Renji now…not while he was acting as King's Consort. His body belonged to the king until the new king was birthed. And even if not for that…there was no knowing how Renji would respond to him. What if Renji wasn't able to love him in return? In his current state, his heart was too exposed, too vulnerable. Rejection in his weakened state would be crushing. No, any opening of his heart had to wait until this process had ended. To reach out to Renji now might cause him to fail again. He had already failed once.

"I just wanted…to say, arigato. I am glad you're here."

"I will always be here when you need me, Taichou."

And Byakuya knew it was a promise the redhead would keep.

"You should sleep now."

He did try. He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of warmth at his side. The flashes of hot and cold were easing and the ache in his head was slowly fading. He drifted in and out of sleep, surfacing to open his eyes, just to make sure that the redhead was still beside him, then dropping off again.

He opened his eyes and found himself in his own room. Where he was told him immediately that it was a dream, but it felt real and warm and comfortable. He realized all at once that he wasn't alone. Renji still knelt beside him…but here in this place, he could say the words. Here, it was safe and there was nothing to hold him back.

"_Renji…" he whispered, "Renji…I…"_

"_What is it, Taichou?" Renji asked quietly._

_He looked into the affectionate brown eyes._

"_Will you," he began, "Would you…?"_

_What if?_

"_Will you lie down next to me?"_

_There was a long silence. He swallowed hard, not daring to look, not daring to hear…_

"_Taichou…this is what you want?"_

_"No, Renji," he whispered, "This is what my heart needs."_

_He held on to the warmth of his words, to the smile Renji gave him in the dream and to the gentle feeling of Renji's body lying alongside his._

XXXXXXXXXX

"Will you lie down next to me?"

Renji stared in surprise. Byakuya's eyes were closed, but he had drifted in and out of sleep so many times, Renji didn't know if he was lucid or not. But he had to do something.

"Taichou," he whispered, "This is what you want?"

"No Renji, this is what my heart needs."

And then Renji understood that, awake or not, he was hearing what Byakuya wanted. He was hearing the contents of the noble's heart. It was what he had wanted for so long…not so much what was in the request, but that Byakuya would ask out loud. And what he requested sounded so beautiful when he put it into words. Renji was moving before he realized what he was doing, sliding under the blanket, moving closer. He touched Byakuya's arm very lightly in askance. Surprise rose up in his eyes as the noble's eyes flew open and he sat up and pulled away, staring.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a shaky voice.

Renji blinked in surprise.

"You asked me to lie down with you."

He had never seen his Taichou's eyes so wide…his expression so intense.

"You said that it was what your heart needed."

He paused a moment, reading the uncertainty mixed with desire and regret, and he shook his head slightly.

"Oh, Taichou, I thought that you were awake," he said apologetically, "I am sorry…"

He started to pull away, but was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned to find that Byakuya was sitting up next to him and looking directly into his eyes now.

"You understand the danger in this," Byakuya said softly, "Renji, if we fall in love now, I won't be able to stabilize the reiatsu. My heart will be too conflicted."

Renji gave him a small smile.

"Then, Taichou," he said, meeting the dark gray eyes, "we will not fall in love right now."

He moved closer and wrapped his arms around the noble.

"But I will lie down next to you and I will hold you…if that is what your heart needs."

Byakuya was staring at him with a beautiful, surprised expression. He remained frozen for a moment longer, then sank deeper into Renji's arms and surrendered to sleep almost instantly…but not before he forced out a single whispered word.

"Arigatou."

XXXXXXXXXX

"It was reckless of us to allow this to happen," Byakuya said quietly when they woke, still wrapped in each other's arms, "Right now, I have to focus everything on what I am doing. I cannot afford to become distracted."

"I don't mean to distract you, Taichou," Renji said softly, "I only meant to give you what you needed to find your strength again. I don't want to endanger your mission. Perhaps it would have been better if I hadn't come to you. But he said that you needed me. He told me that you lost the king's reiatsu and that it was very difficult for you."

"I am glad you came to me when you did," Byakuya said, meeting Renji's eyes warily, "My failure to stabilize the reiatsu is going to lengthen the rebirth ritual. We will have to begin again."

He paused, taking a careful breath.

"But I am going to move forward. So much rests on all of this. And Soutaichou said that the longer this takes, the more bad effects our worlds will suffer. As the worlds move closer to each other, they will destabilize and things will grow dangerous."

"But Taichou…you just lost the king's reiatsu. You need to give yourself time to recover," Renji argued, "If you try to force yourself to move forward without dealing with this, then you could make things worse…"

"I know that," admitted Byakuya, "But there really isn't any choice, Renji. I will reflect on my losses later, but now is not the time to indulge in my emotions. There is too much at stake."

"I hate this, Taichou," Renji said, resting a hand on Byakuya's, "I hate what it is doing to you."

Byakuya lowered his eyes.

"As I said, we will have time for our losses later. Renji…the king needs to return."

The warm hand squeezed his.

"Are you sure that you want to do this now?"

Byakuya nodded.

"You have helped me gather the strength to move forward. I want to finish this so that we can return home, Abarai Renji. We will have much to discuss upon our return."

Renji nodded.

"And we'll go home soon, Taichou," Renji assured him.

He hesitated for a moment.

"Taichou, if you need me again, just ask and I will come to you. I know my being here is difficult too, but if it helps you, then…just ask for me."

Byakuya nodded.

Renji wrapped his arms around the noble one last time and held him close for a long moment. As he let go, golden light rose around him and Byakuya could sense the shift taking place. He waited quietly as the reiatsu settled and the golden light faded. When the room darkened again, he found himself looking into the golden eyes of the Interim King. He stared at Byakuya appraisingly.

"Are you certain you have made the right decision, Byakuya?" he asked quietly, "There is much turmoil in your heart right now. Such turmoil could cause you to lose the king's reiatsu again."

"I am ready to continue in my mission," Byakuya stated calmly, "The more we delay, the closer our worlds come to colliding. What happened was painful, but it will not overwhelm me."

The king studied him for a moment.

"No…you are not in danger from your pain anymore. It is your growing love for Abarai Renji that threatens us now. It will continue to grow, so perhaps it is best for us to move forward. I would ask, however that if you find that you are being overcome, you will tell me and we will see to it before it becomes too great a threat."

Byakuya nodded.

"I will tell you if I begin to feel overwhelmed."

"That is best," the king agreed.

He leaned forward and pulled Byakuya closer, bringing their lips together. The contact felt strange after being held by Renji, but he closed his eyes and let his mind relax. He felt haste in the king's movements and opened his eyes. The golden eyes were flaring strangely and his expression was one of discomfort.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"It is the rendering. I had to wait until you were sufficiently recovered to continue. This causes the rendered reiatsu to become very unstable. It could cause problems in our exchange."

Byakuya nodded in understanding.

"Then by all means, relieve the stress quickly."

He fell back against the pillows and closed his eyes again as he was hurriedly prepared and the king entered him somewhat more forcefully than usual. His movements held something close to desperation and Byakuya found himself growing worried as the reiatsu continued to rise around them.

"What is it? What's happening?"

An odd wind was rising around them, flashing through the room with a strange whooshing sound. Byakuya felt a closed in feeling and he shivered softly. The king looked down into his eyes and Byakuya was unnerved by what he saw there.

"The reiatsu is too strong. It will overwhelm you."

He started to pull away, but Byakuya took hold of his arms and held them tightly.

"I am stronger than you think."

"You do not understand. If it is too strong, it could destroy you."

"And what happens if we do not mate?"

The king lowered his eyes.

"It could destroy me."

Byakuya looked into the golden eyes with renewed resolve.

"Then there is no choice."

The king began to move again and the reiatsu flared around them, burning against Byakuya's skin. And as the king's movements became faster and more urgent, the rumbling and pressure of the reiatsu continued to rise. Byakuya felt as though he was sinking beneath the surface of an ocean. He knew the king was right about the reiatsu being too strong, but if he did not ease the pressure, the Interim King could be lost. He felt the reiatsu flare again, fitfully and the king gasped softly as he neared release. Byakuya ignored the searing pain on his skin and the heavy, suffocating weight of the out of control reiatsu and held on for dear life.

The king gave a sharp, deeply pained gasp and his body flared with white light. The pain struck Byakuya like a thousand knives cutting into his flesh, but he kept his eyes closed and forced himself to remain still. The reiatsu exploded into his body, out of control and threatening to erupt out of him again. He clenched his teeth, focusing on capturing the errant reiatsu and meeting it with calming waves. The reiatsu raked him repeatedly and he met it with unexpected calmness. Slowly, the reiatsu inside him began to recede. He took a breath and let it out slowly as the reiatsu became calm and quiet again.

Byakuya looked up into the king's golden eyes again and the king smiled and kissed him lightly on the mouth.

"You were right, Byakuya," he said gratefully, "You are stronger than I gave you credit for being."


	7. The King's Admonition

**Chapter 7: The King's Admonition**

The Interim King rested quietly, holding a peacefully sleeping Byakuya in his arms. He studied the noble's life force and was pleased to note that his contact with Abarai Renji, however brief, had yielded the desired effect and had pulled him out of the emotional downward spiral he had been entering. Still, his emotional state was going to be in constant danger of destabilizing…and if Byakuya became too emotionally fragile, then the rebirth process could slowly destroy him.

That was why he had given Abarai Renji a very strongly worded piece of advice…

"If you wish for Byakuya to be successful in his efforts, then you must do nothing to upset his emotional balance. As I provide the new king's power, he provides the new king's heart and conscience, but the process of doing that places his own heart under great amounts of stress…and excessive emotional attachments could become a danger. Go to him. Comfort him, but do not allow yourselves to become too emotionally charged. The more emotion you exchange, the more danger there is that he will become emotionally unbalanced."

It had been carefully worded to avoid admitting his own growing emotional attachment. He knew it was a side effect of his intimate exposure to Byakuya. He, himself was not a creature given to great amounts of emotion…and actually, emotion endangered his mission. But because his Consort was dependant on emotion to provide his part of the transfer, it was to be expected that the Interim King would be affected by the exposure to that emotion.

That was translating into some unhealthy longings. The strongest was, of course, his longing for life. He was a construct created for the purpose of bringing forth the new king and when he had first appeared, there had been no desire on his part to live beyond his usefulness. While Byakuya had a 'before' and 'after,' the Interim King had only this time. And as his contact with his Consort increased, so did his emotional growth. Simply put, he longed for continuance…but it was not meant to be.

The other longing that resulted from close contact with his Consort was his growing affection for Byakuya. He knew Byakuya was in love with Renji and that the two were walking a pathway to becoming lovers, but he also felt a longing for Byakuya. Every time they joined to place the king's reiatsu, he felt that attachment grow…and he felt the desire for that contact deepen. He was meant to desire his Consort and he could demand what he wanted and Byakuya would yield it. But if he asked for too much, he could undo the noble and cause him to shatter emotionally. Everything in this transfer depended on maintaining a delicate balance. He told himself that same thing over and over. But as he looked down at the noble's sleeping form, all he could feel was his desire for their next coupling. And after several hours of resisting, he felt his resolve weakening.

He tried relieving the pressure of the emotion by gently touching Byakuya as he slept, running his fingers through the silken black strands of hair, letting his fingertips play over face and throat and lightly caressing the planes and curves of his body. But as his touches progressed, his desire grew…and as the desire grew, the nature of his touches changed.

Byakuya's eyes suddenly opened and met his. There was a moment of uncertainty

"My lord?" he said questioningly.

He was all too aware that Byakuya did not love him and did not want this kind of contact with him, but they both knew that part of Byakuya's job as Consort was to serve the Interim King's needs. He focused on the guarded, dark eyes that met his, and he felt that need take control of him.

He fastened his mouth on Byakuya's and felt at once the tension in his body. He did not resist in any way, but it was clear his heart was not in what he was doing. He yielded to the tongue that stroked his lips, calmly parting them in acceptance. The king moved slowly in his exploration, his passion growing as he continued to taste the sweet depths of that pliant mouth. His hands traced the fine curves of Byakuya's body, drawing pleasure from the incredible softness of the pale, white flesh.

It was deliciously pleasing to touch him, but he found himself aching for some kind of response. He slid one hand down the length of the noble's body and smiled as he encountered the hardening member. He treated it to slow caresses and let his fingers move down to explore him further.

He sighed softly. Everything about his Consort was beautiful…

He was careful to avoid making eye contact now. He sensed the reluctance, the soft shiver of regret, the ache of longing and he knew that if he met Byakuya's eyes, he would see pain.

So he carefully avoided it.

Instead, he turned the noble onto his stomach and entered him from behind. He bit down gently on a muscular shoulder, then traced it with kisses as he moved in and out of that lovely, accepting body. He reached down and curled a warm hand around his Consort's responsive arousal and moved up and down its length. He changed the angle of his body and thrust in deeply, striking the center of pleasure that made the body beneath his shudder and writhe in response. He thought he heard a small, strangled gasp as he thrust deeply inside one final time, but the hot pulse of release overtook him and he closed his eyes and sank down along the length of Byakuya's back, his thoughts pleasantly scattered. He treated the soft skin to a flurry of light kisses, then gently withdrew and left the room.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya laid, still and quiet until long after the Interim King had gone. His mind whirled at what had happened.

He had known and accepted that the king had the right to take what he wanted, when he desired it. That was a part of what Byakuya had agreed to when he chose to act as the king's consort. But this felt different. This time, he hadn't been doing anything to prepare the way for the new king. He was simply an object of pleasure and sexual release. It stunned him how much that hurt.

But then, Byakuya had long been used to submerging large amounts of pain.

So he forced down the feeling of revulsion and climbed out of bed. Wrapping himself in a light yukata, he left the bedroom and walked slowly to the palace baths. He sank down into the heated water and willed his emotions to fade, to quiet, to calm.

But some part of him refused to obey. It was the part of him that had longed for Renji's return, had welcomed it when it arrived, and now languished beneath the rigors of his mission. He tried reminding that part of himself how much rested on the success of that mission, the birth of the new king, but the words sounded hollow in his mind. What the king had just done had nothing to do with their mission…

It was desire beginning to overtake the Interim King's senses. And it was a clear threat to their mission. But lacking the right to refuse, Byakuya could say nothing. And he knew inside that he was the one to blame for the situation. He was the one who had brought emotion into their coupling by asking the king to call him by name, to kiss him, to touch him with affection. The king had not been withholding those things out of sheer coldness. The Interim King was focused on the transfer of power and if Byakuya had been able to shoulder the exchange without the signs of affection, if he could have accepted the king as he was, then the king would not have been so affected. What was happening was his own fault…caused by his own weak need for affection.

He hated himself for that…

He knew now what a cold person he had been before. And now, the one time that coldness would have served him in a positive way, he was incapable of it. His own desire to be treated with recognition and affection had undermined everything and was threatening to undo them.

_Desire is the need of the heart, just as food and drink are needs of the body._

He had given the king that desire…and now it was his responsibility to feed it. So, when the king returned, he yielded quietly, allowing himself to be lifted and carried back to the bedroom, prepared, used, and quietly abandoned. He was careful to keep his thoughts guarded and replied pleasantly when spoken to. But he felt an inward shattering, a loss of self that would have been unbearable if he didn't feel so strongly that he deserved it. He understood now the wisdom of Soutaichou's admonition…that he might regret having been left with his memory. If he had bathed in the purification pool, then he would have lost his connection to the things that drove his need for affection. He wouldn't have cared about having been stripped of name, of power, of zanpakutou, of Renji, because those things would have been meaningless to him then. And that would have stopped him from feeling the pain.

He had to laugh at himself for ever having thought he was losing less by keeping his memory…He had been a fool to think that…and now he was being proven painfully wrong.

But one thought bolstered him. It was in the king's words. He had said that part of Byakuya's mission was to provide the rendered reiatsu with emotion and conscience. So…perhaps that was why Soutaichou had also insisted that they had the highest chance of success in using a virginal taichou, who would keep his memory. It might be the more painful path…

But sometimes pain was necessary.

He repeated that to himself as he yielded his body to the king for the purpose of their mission or for pleasure.

He repeated it as the hours stretched into days and the days disappeared into weeks and the weeks became months.

And finally, one day, he found himself rewarded with that calm, familiar stirring within. It was the reason for all of his suffering and a promise that his suffering would eventually end. Exhausted in spirit, he dropped to his knees beneath a blossoming sakura tree and dissolved into tears of relief. He hadn't any pride left to stop him. He didn't care that tears were the surrender of his body to his heart, that they should be resisted, or that he should have been able to resist them. They also took away the torrent of emotion and left him calm again, so that when the king returned for him, he could shut down everything and go along quietly. He knew the king was aware of his weakness, but he was careful not to meet Byakuya's eyes or to say anything to acknowledge it. And he was especially cautious to avoid all mention of Renji.

Because they both realized the truth beneath everything. The very sight of Renji, the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand, and Byakuya would fall apart. He was so precariously balanced that the slightest move could break him.

But it would be fine if he kept his mind distracted, so he buried himself in the library until he had read every book within, he walked the paths of the gardens and laid on his back, watching the clouds cross the sky, he avoided all thoughts of his name, his heart, his home, and he clung desperately to the growing life inside him, knowing that if he failed this time, there wouldn't be another chance. He had given everything to this attempt, had pushed himself to the brink. He stood poised on the edge of a cliff, looking over and realized just how far he was in danger of falling.

He felt the king approaching and it took everything in him not to throw himself over the edge. He turned and bowed his head, waiting to be lifted and carried back to the palace, to be prepared and taken. But it was different this time. The king didn't touch him. He stood quietly in front of him and waited…until Byakuya gathered the courage to meet his eyes.

He caught his breath sharply and stepped back in surprise, nearly achieving what he had wished for. But the king caught his wrist as he began to lose his balance and Byakuya fell against him, not daring to believe what he had seen.

The golden eyes looked less golden…

The tattoos were darkening…

"Byakuya," the king said, finally breaking the silence between them, "There is something I have discovered…something you need to know…"

He dropped to his knees and brought Byakuya down with him.

"I know you are beginning to see it…You know he is beginning to return. It is a good sign. It means that the rebirthing is nearing its endpoint. When Renji returns in full, that will mean that the process will be complete and the new king will emerge."

Byakuya didn't dare trust his voice, so he simply nodded.

"But I have to warn you…as Renji emerges, it may complicate our joinings. If you see him, you may lose focus. You may become distraught…confused. There is danger to me as well. As Renji emerges, he will come to a full realization of what has happened between us. I have shielded him from the fact that I used you in ways not related to our mission. I had to, because if he grew overly protective of you, he could have emerged too soon and the king's reiatsu would have been lost again. I couldn't take that risk. This is the most dangerous time for us."

He paused, studying Byakuya's dark eyes.

"I am worried that the more often we join for the placing of reiatsu, the more chances there are that one of us will shatter. I have a solution, but I need to know that if we follow this path…that you will carry on to the end."

"My lord, I am resolved to bring forth the new king. I will do whatever you ask of me. I will not fail you again."

The king placed his hands gently on Byakuya's face.

"You never failed me in the first place. Byakuya, the first attempt failed because we were both unprepared for what this rebirthing would demand."

"I thought it was my pain that destabilized the king's reiatsu."

"No," the king said, shaking his head, "It was also my inexperience at responding to the needs of my Consort. We had to learn to work together. We have done that…and now we are near to birthing the king. But as I said, we are on dangerous ground. Every time we join, there are risks…so I want to propose to you that we attempt to end our couplings now."

Byakuya caught his breath in surprise.

"But…"

"You remember how the rendered reiatsu went out of control when I held it in too long, waiting for you to recover? It was at that time that I realized…you are strong enough to bear the full weight of the remaining reiatsu."

"You mean…all at once?" Byakuya queried softly.

"Yes. I could have offered this sooner, but I will confess to you that I was in difficulty for a time over my own fate. When this process ends, I will simply disappear and the new king will emerge. I had to come to terms with what that means. I don't have a life to go back to. I was created to serve a single purpose and to dissolve back into spirit particles when that is done. I delayed telling you about this because I allowed myself to fall in love with you…and even though you did not return my love, you allowed me full expression of my emotions so that I could work through them, I am sorry that my inappropriate attentions were painful to you. But they served a purpose. I was able to know what love feels like, Byakuya…and that was the greatest gift I could have been given. I can go peacefully and I am happy to know that you and Renji will go home…and that you will have achieved what you came here to do. I am happy you will finally have a chance to explore what you feel for each other…and I would remind you of the charge I gave you. You were given the heart that beats inside you for a reason. As much as you are required to conceal it at times, there are times when you should release its contents. When Renji returns…do not withhold your heart from him. Love him fearlessly and I promise you, he will return it."

He gazed out, across the darkening sky, watching the setting sun.

"Come," he said softly, "This will be the last time we are together."

Byakuya rose with the Interim King and followed him silently back to the palace.


	8. The King Reborn

**Chapter 8: The King Reborn**

"I know that it will be a relief for you to have this be over and done with, but I must tell you, Kuchiki Byakuya, I am glad you were chosen to assist me in the rebirth ritual."

Byakuya froze at the sound of his surname. He hadn't heard anyone use it since he spoke it to the Interim King on that first day. To suddenly meet with it…to see it fall from the Interim King's lips…

"What is it?" asked the king, stroking the noble's face tenderly, "Did you think I had forgotten it?"

"But you never call me that…" Byakuya whispered, staring.

"We are at the end of our association. You are about to birth the Spirit King. You are to be honored and respected for what you have done. The least I can do is to recognize your efforts and begin to restore what was taken. And yet, even as I do this, I know some things were lost that cannot be regained."

He captured Byakuya's lips in a warm, affectionate kiss.

"I am sorry that our first coupling was so void of feeling. It wasn't right that your first experience should be with someone who ignored your needs. Yours are as important as my own. I was not able to recognize that then. It took you to educate me…and I thank you for that."

He threaded his fingers through the soft black strands of Byakuya's hair. The noble looked back at him expectantly.

"I should warn you, Byakuya. When this mating ends, my reiatsu will be forcefully expelled and Renji will return quite suddenly. And because of the intensity of the final reiatsu exchange, you may be somewhat overwhelmed."

"But," Byakuya said uncertainly, "If you are going to leave before the birth of the Spirit King, how will I know what to do? How will I know what to do if something goes wrong?"

He leaned forward and kissed Byakuya warmly again.

"You will be fine. The reiatsu will manage itself. It will swell and wrap around you, then the Spirit King will emerge. When he has left your body, your powers will return and you will be free to leave the palace."

Byakuya gazed at the Interim King and set his palm lightly on the hand that still touched his face.

"It seems unfair that you, who has given so much to the creation of the Spirit King, will not even lay eyes upon him," Byakuya said quietly.

The king returned Byakuya's gaze with even deeper affection.

"Despite everything, you still sympathize with me? How can you, Byakuya? I hurt you in so many ways…"

"You were sent to me with no knowledge of how to approach me…without any idea of what my needs would be. How can I blame you for how you were made? You did the best you could with what you were given."

"So…you forgive me for the pain I caused you?" the king asked softly.

"There is nothing to forgive," Byakuya replied, meeting his eyes with sincerity, "I know you also suffered because of the unreturned love you felt for me. It was not easy for you either."

The king gazed at Byakuya wonderingly.

"You are truly amazing, Kuchiki Byakuya…truly beautiful! Now, the time has come. Be with me, my Byakuya…one last time."

And this time, when the king's lips found Byakuya's, the noble's moved gently in response…and when his hands moved over the soft, pale flesh, Byakuya moaned softly and leaned into his touches. The king smiled in gratitude.

"Byakuya!" he whispered, "Is this real?"

The dark eyes met his with warmth, with kindness, with genuine affection.

"My lord, you learned how to treat me with love and affection. And you gifted me with the same. I never knew the importance of making others feel loved…so this once, before you go…I want you to feel that, my king. Your short existence accomplished more than bringing forth the Spirit King. You challenged me to know and express the desires of my heart. And for that, I am thankful…"

Their mouths met and devoured each other hungrily as the reiatsu rose sharply around them. Golden fire erupted all around them and the king fell onto the open, willing form that lay beneath him. The king felt a soft swell of joy as each move he made was answered with gentle movements, soft whispers and sighs, sounds and touches that went straight to the heart that Kuchiki Byakuya helped him to find. And as the reiatsu reached its peak, he gazed deeply into the wide gray eyes, his lips moving in words of farewell.

"Good bye…Kuchiki Byakuya…Arigato…for everything."

Byakuya held his eyes as the waves of reiatsu and release broke over them…and he felt tears of both sadness and relief as the gold faded and the black tattoos and calm brown eyes suddenly returned.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji felt the dizzying feeling of suddenly bursting out of a dark, twisting tunnel and emerging into too bright light. His head throbbed painfully and he felt keenly the last raking touch of the Interim King's reiatsu as it dissipated. He suddenly realized that he was naked and lying, collapsed on top of an equally naked, pale and trembling Byakuya. A bolt of shock and shame went through him as he came to awareness that he was still inside Byakuya and that their hearts were still racing and their chests still heaved softly from release. He started to pull away, but Byakuya's arms wrapped around him tightly, clinging to him.

"Don't go…Renji…" Byakuya whispered, "Don't let go of me…I don't know what's going to happen now!"

And when he met Byakuya's eyes, he could see the beginnings of a golden flare, burning at the black centers. Byakuya's body shook softly and his widened eyes looked to Renji like the haunted eyes of one waking from a nightmare. He tightened his arms around the noble and whispered encouragement.

But he understood that, for Byakuya, the nightmare wasn't over…

Their racing hearts slowed together and he carefully extracted himself from the noble's shivering body. Byakuya's body was beginning to glow with golden light and the reiatsu was rising all around them.

"Kami!" hissed Renji breathlessly, "This is un-fucking-believable!"

Byakuya's eyes captured his again and Renji drew back, staring. The golden light was expanding outward, swirling and moving. The gray eyes that he had known so well disappeared and were replaced with gleaming gold centers. The reiatsu pulsed sharply around him, making the long strands of his hair flutter sharply on the breezes and, as they moved, the golden light touched them and left them shot through with gold.

"Don't…leave me…Renji…" Byakuya pleaded in a strange, echoing whisper, "I need you…"

Renji abandoned his fears and gathered Byakuya into his arms, ignoring the huge swell of reiatsu, the strange golden eyes and hair, the ghostly, echoing voice. Beneath everything, he reasoned, this was still Byakuya…and Renji knew full well that he had never witnessed Kuchiki Byakuya showing so much fear.

"I won't leave you," he promised, "I'm going to stay with you."

Pale hands held onto him for dear life as the reiatsu exploded around them again and Byakuya's body pulsed with the deep, golden light. Renji felt the pressure close in around him, leaving him with a feeling of not being able to draw a breath. He clung to Byakuya as tightly as the noble clung to him now, watching as the golden color settled on Byakuya's skin and the heavy throbbing of the king's reiatsu began to ebb. The room rumbled softly one more time as the reiatsu spun free of Byakuya and fell away. Then, the noble gazed through golden eyes into Renji's brown ones and sank slowly into his arms, the strange eyes closing and the shaken body surrendering to sleep with a soft, frightened sigh.

Renji eased him down onto the bed again and remained kneeling at his side, his eyes on the gilded body…waiting for some sign of what would come next. The room went silent and calm again and Renji could see the full moon rising up outside as the night wore on. When it had reached its highest point in the sky, Byakuya's eyes suddenly opened and he climbed out of bed. Still clothed only in the bright golden light, he left the room and made his way to the King's Gardens with Renji following close on his heels. He walked calmly to the edge of the purification pool and stopped to look back at Renji with gratitude.

"Arigato, Renji," he said in the odd, echoing voice, "I needed you and you were there for me. I won't forget that…"

"Byakuya?" Renji called uncertainly, "Byakuya…"

He stepped into the waters and they began to boil and swirl around his bare feet, climbing in slow spirals up his bare legs and wrapping around his golden torso. He was disappearing into the water and Renji felt a touch of panic.

"Don't you leave me, Byakuya! Don't!" he cried over the howl of the rising wind.

As the water reached the noble's face and it began to disappear, his lips curved into a smile.

"I will come back to you…" he promised softly.

Renji fell to his knees beside the purification pool, watching the column of water around Byakuya continue to swirl and glow golden in the evening darkness. He wondered briefly how long he would it would be…how long he would wait, wondering, as the waters continued to swirl and the reiatsu pulsed heavily. Finally, the water in the purification pool rose up, carrying Byakuya upward and forming a watery golden sphere around him. Renji caught sight of Byakuya's silhouette and felt the ground open up beneath him as Byakuya released a scream of pain and the reiatsu exploded outward.

Renji came to his feet again, his chest heaving with fear for the encircled noble.

"Byakuya!" he cried over the howling wind, "Byakuya!"

The noble gave another cry of pain, and as Renji watched in horrified silence, he could see a dark shape emerging from Byakuya's body, twisting, turning and softly pulling free of him. As the other left his body, Byakuya gave a final scream of pain and sank into the other's waiting arms.

The reiatsu spun more slowly around them now, the golden light slowly dropping away into a shimmering fall of tiny sparks. A tall, dark form stepped forward as the reiatsu settled and the purification pool slowly faded and disappeared. Renji moved forward cautiously, his eyes wide as the moonlight fell for the first time on the face of the new Spirit King.

And Renji felt a smile coming to his lips.

The king was tall, with Renji's golden, tanned skin and light swirling tattoos on his forehead, neck, chest, back and arms. His hair was black and flowing, like Byakuya's and the man's eyes were lovely, dark gray and calm and gentle. He had Byakuya's pearly finger and toenails and the same fine bone structure. Renji had never seen a more beautiful creature.

He stepped forward, holding Byakuya's motionless form in his arms and bearing a somber expression.

"Wh-what is it?" Renji asked in a frightened voice, "Is he going to be all right?"

He set Byakuya gently down on the ground and Renji ran to his side, dropping to his knees, searching for signs of life. His heart froze as he realized.

"Kami! Byakuya?" he said in a shaking voice.

"The rebirth was too much for him," the Spirit King said softly.

Even the man's voice was reminiscent of Byakuya's…

"No! You can't let him die! You can't! He came here and gave up everything for you! You can't let him die! You have to save him!"

"He willingly gave everything to his task, so much so that it drained him of life in the end. I am proud to have been born of one so strong," the king said, observing the motionless noble with affectionate eyes.

"I don't give a damn about his task or anything else! I can't lose him, not after everything we went through to find each other. You are the Spirit King! You can bring him back. You have to bring him back…You have to…"

The king placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"And what if it is Byakuya's time to leave?" he asked in a gentle voice, "What then, Abarai Renji?"

"It can't be," Renji said, his voice coming out in a strangled sob, "We were just finding our way to each other…We were falling in love."

He rose and turned, meeting the king eye to eye.

"Don't you think that after all that he gave up to give you life…can't you save his? I swear to you…you'll have whatever you want from me. I'll…I'll do anything. I…I…I would die for Byakuya!"

The Spirit King reached out and set his hands gently on Renji's face.

"I can see why you were chosen, Abarai Renji. Your love is a very powerful thing. And you have given as much as Byakuya to bring me into this world. I am indebted to both of you. So, I will do this. I will return Byakuya to life on one condition…I can give life back to his body, but you will have to mend his heart. He was badly shattered by this rebirth. Only in this way can he fully return. Will you give me this promise?"

Renji's eyes filled with tears.

"Yes…I'll do anything…just don't let him die."

The king smiled and knelt next to Byakuya, raising a blue energy field around his still form. Renji dropped to his knees beside the king, his eyes locked on Byakuya's face, staring intently. The light around the noble pulsed and flared. Renji felt a feeling like he was falling as the wind touched Byakuya's body and he stirred.

"B-byakuya?" Renji breathed

The dark eyes slowly opened and met Renji's sleepily.

"R-renji?" he mouthed without sound.

The blue light faded. Renji leaned over the noble and placed a very light, tentative kiss on his lips.

Byakuya gazed up at him, his eyes slowly focusing.

"Renji…" he murmured in a soft, relieved sigh, "You stayed with me…"

Renji broke into a wide smile.

"Are you kidding, Taichou? Of course I did. I promised I would stay with you and I'm right here."

"Renji?"

"Hai?"

"Do you think that perhaps we could find some clothes?"


	9. The Betrayal

**Chapter 9: The Betrayal**

Renji returned to the gardens, dressed in a dark red kimono and carrying one that was midnight blue with a thin gold trim. He slowed as he spotted the king kneeling at Byakuya's side, infusing the noble's body with healing power as he slept. The king pulled his hands away and looked up at Renji as he approached.

"How is he?" Renji asked softly.

The king turned his head to study the noble's sleeping form.

"He is responding to the healing, but his shinigami powers have not returned as I would have expected they would. I have examined him thoroughly, and I believe this to be a matter of the heart."

"So what does that mean?" Renji asked, gazing at Byakuya.

"It means that his powers will return as his heart mends. It will require time, patience and not a small amount of love to restore him. But I sense you have the capability to help him with that healing, Abarai Renji."

"Well, I'll do what I can. But it's hard to know where to even begin, you know?"

The Spirit King smiled warmly at Renji.

"I will give you this piece of advice, then. If you wish to reach Byakuya's heart, then the best way is to know and follow yours."

"You mean…"

"You said that the two of you were falling in love?"

"Yeah…well, it seemed we were. But he seemed unsure of himself. I think it was because the feelings have been there, but we never really knew they were there. And how in the hell he was supposed to figure out anything while in the middle of all of this? It's easy to understand why he would feel confused."

"But you are very certain of yourself in this."

It was a statement, Renji realized, not a question.

"Yeah…I know what I feel."

"Then you and Byakuya are going to be fine. The road to his recovery will be long and difficult, but when his recovery nears completion, the two of you will discover a gift I have given you."

"A gift?"

"Yes," replied the king, rising, "but that will reveal itself when you are ready to receive it. For now, I think the two of you should return to the palace and get some rest. The palace will be unsealed in the morning and the two of you will be free to return to the Seireitei."

"Hai," Renji said, kneeling and gathering Byakuya into his arms.

Renji carried Byakuya back to the palace, passing through the throne room and down the long hallways. He paused for a moment at the doorway to the bedroom Byakuya had shared with the Interim King. He gazed down at Byakuya's sleeping face and then turned toward another room, farther down the hallway. This room was larger and brighter, with a window that overlooked a small blue lake.

Renji set Byakuya down on the bed, then went to find sleeping clothes for the two of them. He slipped into a light yukata and brought one for Byakuya. A pang of sadness went through Renji as he wrapped the material around Byakuya and realized just how thin he had become…too thin and too pale.

He pulled back the blankets and tucked Byakuya in, then stood for a moment, watching him sleep and remembering how Byakuya had begged him not to leave. The Spirit King had told Renji to follow his heart…and his heart told him not to leave the noble alone. So he slipped into the bed next to Byakuya and gently pulled the sleeping noble into his arms. Byakuya did not wake, but shifted softly in his sleep, turning into Renji's arms and settling onto his shoulder. Renji turned his head, resting his face in a swirl of black, sakura scented hair and drifted off to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya began to surface again and realized with a start that he was being held by someone. Still half submerged in sleep, his tired mind recognized the arms that held him as those of the Interim King and he felt the sinking feeling he always felt upon waking in those arms.

But something felt very different this time.

The arms that held him did so with greater tenderness and warmth. The reiatsu was calmer and heartbreakingly familiar. Byakuya shifted slightly and the other's face lifted, the gentle brown eyes fastening on his. A lovely smile played over the other's face and it made his own lips turn slightly upward in response.

"Taichou," Renji said quietly, "I thought that after what happened before, you might not prefer to wake up alone. I hope you don't mind."

Now Byakuya managed a grateful smile.

"Arigato, Renji, you thought correctly."

They stared at each other for a long moment, then Byakuya very slowly leaned forward and brought their lips together. The contact was light, tentative and very, very sweet. And it made Abarai Renji hungry for more. But such things would need to wait. There was much that needed to happen before they were ready. So he released the noble's lips and brushed a warm cheek against Byakuya's before pulling back slightly and meeting his eyes. They were still sad and shadowed, and Renji had the aching feeling that they would be that way for a long time.

"The palace has been unsealed," Renji said softly, "We can go home whenever you are ready, Taichou."

They had brought nothing with them, so there was nothing to gather. They walked out first to the gardens and stepped forward to say goodbye to the Spirit King. The beautiful spirit creature they had given so much to birth gathered each into his arms by turn and kissed each gently on the cheek.

"Arigato," he said, smiling, "you have granted me life and power and heart. I will do my best to care for the worlds I have been brought forth to protect…and I will watch over you. You have trials yet to face…and know that you will not face them alone…and whenever you wish to come to me…you are welcome here…in this home and in these gardens. You have more than earned that right."

Renji started to turn away, but noticed that Byakuya was not turning with him. The noble stood frozen and silent, staring fixedly at the being they had made. The fingertips of his right hand rested over his heart and there were tears in his eyes.

The king stepped close to him again and took Byakuya in his arms, bringing the noble's weary head to rest against his shoulder. His fingers threaded tenderly through the lengths of black hair and his voice was like a whisper of wind through the trees.

"Do not worry that you must leave everything behind and leave with nothing. My heart lives always very close to your own. But you must return to your life now. I have asked all I will of you…except…I…want you to smile again. I want you to grow strong and to feel alive. And I want you to know your heart and feed it always with love. You deserve to be happy…and if you follow your heart, you will find that happiness, Kuchiki Byakuya."

He released Byakuya and stepped back, waiting, watching and smiling as Renji touched the noble's arm and Byakuya turned and followed Renji away.

When they entered the palace, they were surprised to find that it was no longer empty. The members of the Royal Guard stepped aside silently, bowing their heads respectfully as Byakuya and Renji passed by. When they reached the main gates, the gates stood open, and they paused for a moment, looking out into the forested land beyond.

As they started forward again, Byakuya followed Renji like a silent shadow. Renji understood his need to reflect, but as time passed and they continued to walk in silence, he couldn't help but feel worried for his too-quiet taichou. They came to a stream and stooped to gather water into their hands. Renji splashed some on his face, then drank deeply, trying to remember the last time either of them had eaten or had anything to drink. The spirit realm hadn't required it, but as they reached the end of the spirit dimension and re-entered the Seireitei, they felt hunger again. Renji turned to complain jokingly about his hunger, when all at once, he heard hissing flash steps and they were surrounded by secret mobile corps.

"Kuchiki taichou, Abarai fukutaichou, we have been ordered to take you immediately to Soutaichou at the first division headquarters. As we travel, we are to make no stops and speak to no one."

Byakuya said nothing, but Renji felt a flare of anger and stepped between Byakuya and the officers of the second division.

"What the hell is this? Do you have any idea where we've been? What we were forced to do?"

"You will refrain from speaking to us or anyone else until you have met with Soutaichou."

The secret mobile corps took up positions around them, starting forward and forcing the two to move with them.

"I don't like the look of this, Taichou," Renji mused.

Byakuya gave him a very light touch on the arm.

"Do as they say, Renji," he said in a soft voice.

Grudgingly, Renji moved forward, keeping himself positioned close to Byakuya and watching the men around them with flaring eyes. They made their way back into the main streets of the Seireitei, using their flash step to avoid curious stares as they approached the first division. The secret mobile corps followed them to the steps, then left them with a final admonition to speak to no one except Soutaichou. They were met by an officer of the first division and led into Soutaichou's office, then instructed to kneel and wait.

"Something about this seems really off, Taichou," Renji whispered as they waited, "I don't like this at all."

"I feel the same," admitted Byakuya softly, "but there is little we can do until we know what Soutaichou has to say."

"I don't care what he has to say! There's something not right about this!"

"Hold your temper, Renji," Byakuya said quietly, "something tells me that this would be a poor time to annoy Soutaichou. Remember that we have no idea what happened in our absence. There may be factors at work here that we do not realize."

"Hai…sorry, Taichou. I just didn't like the way those guys were acting before."

He would have said more, but the far doors in the office suddenly opened and Soutaichou stepped into the room. He approached them slowly and paused, looking them over carefully.

"I congratulate you on the success of your mission," Soutaichou said solemnly, "The birth of the new king has stopped the collision of our worlds and we are now safe. You are to be commended."

He paused, turning to look out the window.

"But as you return to your duties, I must caution you…The details of your mission have been concealed and made classified."

"What?" Renji hissed softly, "Soutaichou…"

"Silence, Abarai fukutaichou, I will explain. Had it been made known that the Spirit King had died at the hands of Aizen Sosuke, there would have been mass hysteria. And in any case, because we do not want our enemies to ever learn how the king is reborn, we cannot allow the details of that to be known. The taichous know about the choosing of an Interim King and Consort, but they do not know the full details of how the king is birthed. You two and I are the only ones who know…and it is necessary that you forget. As such, it is my order that the two of you will be taken to the fourth division, where you will receive a full medical evaluation and your memories of this will be adjusted."

Renji's eyes went wide and he came to his feet, his fists clenched.

"Soutaichou…no! You can't do that!"

"I said, silence! We are talking about the protection of our worlds, Abarai fukutaichou! If word were to get out about the process for birthing the new king, then our enemies could make use of that! We cannot afford for that to happen."

"But think about what you are doing! Soutaichou, Kuchiki taichou and I left behind everything! We went to that place and Taichou put everything he had into the birth of the new king. All you have to do is look at him and you can see what it did to him! Now, you want to take his memory of it?"

"At this point, it might seem a kindness, don't you think? Kuchiki taichou seems pushed to the brink. This will relieve him of his heavy emotions and allow him to move forward."

"Damn you! You have no idea what you're doing! His heart is already in pieces! Now you want to fuck with his mind?"

"Abarai," Byakuya began.

"No…I have to speak my mind, Taichou. If they're going to rip it to pieces, then, by kami, I'm going to fight them all the way!"

He met Soutaichou's eyes angrily.

"He chose me to be his fukutaichou! It is my responsibility to protect him. I had to stand by and watch as he had everything taken away from him and as he was used to create the king. There was no honor in it for him. His body was used repeatedly against his wishes and he was treated like he was nothing! And after all of that, he comes back here to the worlds he sacrificed his body…no, Soutaichou…his LIFE to save. Did you know that he actually died? The only reason he's even here is because he did the job you sent him to do, even though it killed him! He took the new king's reiatsu and he poured his heart into it…and he gave so much there was nothing left to sustain him. But the one he gave his heart knew that it would be wrong to let him die after all he gave. The Spirit King said he should be honored. And now, this is the honor you show him? You want to act like it didn't fucking happen! You want to take what he suffered and what he saved from his memory like it never happened, but, Soutaichou, it DID happen! It happened and I was there. I saw everything! And after that…Soutaichou…YOU should be the one on your knees…or at very least, you should show the decency to apologize for using him like that. I am this man's fukutaichou and I swear to you that if anyone lays a hand on him, I will kill them! If anyone tries to hurt him, I will make them wish they were never born! Now, you might not think that saving three worlds is a big deal, but it's a big fucking deal to me…and it is to him, even if what he's been through has broken his will and made him unable to say it to you!"

Renji realized suddenly that he was shaking all over and that tears were running down his face. But he continued to stare angrily into Soutaichou's stern eyes. The captain commander stared at his tearstained face for a long time, then turned and gazed down at Byakuya's quiet, pale features. He still knelt, waiting, his body unmoving, but a single tear had escaped one eye and traveled slowly down his face.

"Byakuya," said Soutaichou in a quiet voice, "will you swear that the details of your mission will remain confidential? If so, I will allow you to keep the memory of your mission…but I think you will understand why Abarai fukutaichou must not."

"Soutaichou…I will give you my word that neither Renji nor I will discuss this mission with anyone. I respectfully ask that you entrust responsibility for his silence to me. The Spirit King left Renji and me with personal charges and confidences that he would have us remember. To take our memories would interfere with our ability to serve him."

There was a long silence.

"Very well, then. Despite my reservations about anyone being left with this information, it seems that my will must be secondary to that of the Spirit King. However, you will be monitored to make certain that you share this with no one. Kuchiki Byakuya, Abarai Renji, you are hereby sworn to secrecy in this matter."

He paused and lowered his eyes.

"I do not wish for you to think that your sacrifice has gone unnoticed. Although the millions of souls you preserved will not be able to thank you for it…I thank you on their behalf. And I…apologize for the hurt it did to you. You are excused from duty for one week. I have explained your absence to the sixth division and the Kuchiki council of elders as that we sent you on a special operations mission to the spirit dimension. No mention was made of the king's death or rebirth. The only details were that the royal family was attacked and that Aizen, Gin and Tousen were all killed. All details related to your mission are confidential, so no one will even ask. Go now to the fourth division for your medical evaluation…rest…heal. You are dismissed."

The captain commander turned and disappeared out the far doors.

Byakuya slowly rose and turned to leave the room. His eyes lowered and his body still shaking with rage, Abarai Renji followed. They stepped out onto the streets of the Seireitei and turned together toward the fourth division. As they walked, cheerful voices rose up around them, welcoming them back, squad members bowed politely and hurried off to tend to their duties, the cool air brushed their skin with light, feathery touches and everything had the feel of just another day.

But Byakuya and Renji carried with them the secret of just how out of the ordinary this day was…

"Taichou," Renji said softly, "they should burn in hell for doing this to you. You know that, right?"

"They're not just doing this to me, Renji," Byakuya replied softly, "They are doing this to both of us. But we will be okay…as long as we have each other. We know what happened. That's all that really matters."

"How can you say that? After…after everything, how can you…?"

"I have served the Gotei 13 and my clan for many years. I know what they are like. I suspected what they would do…so perhaps I was more prepared to hear it."

"But it isn't right, Taichou…it's not. Now we're not allowed to admit what happened. We can't even tell our closest friends…and you can't tell your clan. How is that right, Taichou? How is that fucking right?"

"It isn't right…but it happening anyway. Renji…you have grown much more powerful. So much so that you could, perhaps, be a taichou yourself, now. But even as powerful as you are, you must learn to employ wisdom. You must learn when and how to use your emotion to achieve what you must. Your recklessness will not just work against you as you grow more powerful…It could get you killed. And right now, it threatens to get us separated. I am going to ask something of you. I must ask that whatever you do…that you do not do anything to give them a reason to separate us. Soutaichou was not pleased at your outburst. And because of this, he may try to take you from my side somehow. He might even try to promote you to put you farther from me, and more under his eye. I want you to be careful. I need you with me, Renji. Watch my back…but don't forget to mind your own as well."

They climbed the steps of the fourth division and were met immediately by healers and led away to separate rooms. Renji kept Byakuya's words in mind as he was led down the hallway to an examination room. He resolved to wait quietly and to be cooperative, for Byakuya's sake. He knew that Byakuya was right that they had to be careful. They were in a precarious position. He didn't want to do anything to make things worse. But all thoughts of obedience and caution flew out the window when Byakuya's voice sounded from somewhere nearby, rising up and releasing Renji's name in a terrified scream.


	10. Enter the Blackness

**Chapter 10: Enter the Blackness**

Renji burst through the door into the examination room Byakuya was in and met with the awful sight of his taichou being restrained by two members of the second division, while a healer injected him with something. He flash stepped forward, tearing Byakuya away from them as the taichou's legs gave way beneath him. He held Byakuya against him and started moving towards the door.

"Abarai fukutaichou! What are you doing? We were just trying to conduct the necessary tests and we needed to sedate him."

"What's wrong with you? You don't just knock a guy out and start running tests on him against his will!"

"But Soutaichou said that we…"

"I don't give a shit what Soutaichou told you! No one is touching him without his permission and I'll cut the fucking hand off anyone who tries."

"Ren…don't…let them…They are going to make us forget…Sou…taichou was…lying…"

"We weren't going to…"

"Yeah, right!" Renji fired back, "That's why you needed secret mobile corps in here for a simple medical examination! Don't think for a minute I'm falling for that!"

"He's obviously hallucinating, Abarai. We weren't going to…"

"They're…lying…" Byakuya gasped, his eyes wide and unfocused, "Don't trust…"

He sensed more healers approaching and threw the door open, lifting a semiconscious Byakuya into his arms.

"I'm taking him to Kuchiki Manor. If you want him examined, you send either Unohana taichou or Hanatarou. If you send anyone else, the door will be slammed in their faces!"

He engaged his flash step just in time to avoid the incoming healers and shot across the hallway and out into the lobby.

"There!" someone yelled, "That guy is crazy! He just busted in and started yelling and threatening everyone."

"Shit…" Renji muttered, "So much for not doing anything to get us separated. Sorry, Taichou, but I think we'll have to make a run for home."

He flash stepped again and again, angling for the exit doors and bursting outside. He breathed a sigh of relief as he put distance between the healers and security guards, and himself. Holding Byakuya close, he turned the corner and started down the next street. He had nearly reached the end of the street, when he heard the hiss of flash steps all around and the click of zanpakutou being drawn as the secret mobile corps began to appear around him.

"Back off!" he yelled at them, "I'm taking Kuchiki taichou home! This is what he wants. I'm not hurting anyone…I'm just trying to do what my taichou wants."

"You will surrender now or we will have no choice but to forcefully restrain you. Abarai fukutaichou, you are under arrest for disturbing the peace and interference with an investigation. You must allow us to return Kuchiki taichou to the fourth division. They are only trying to do their jobs and conduct the necessary tests. They are trying to help him. Now…you must surrender."

"Look…I know Kuchiki taichou better than you do and better than those hacks who were torturing him in there. I will go back into the fourth division and allow him to be examined by either Hanatarou or Unohana taichou. I give my word that I will cooperate…just…you can't just let them start drugging him and doing crazy tests. He's been through a lot, okay?"

The leader of the secret mobile corps shook his head.

"I understand your devotion to your taichou, but my orders are clear. You must surrender and be questioned. And Kuchiki taichou must be returned to the fourth division."

"Renji…" Byakuya said weakly, "Renji…something…They _did_ something…I can't…remember. I…What happened? Where are we?"

"Damn them!" Renji hissed, dropping to his knees, "It'll be okay, taichou. I'll take care of you, okay?"

He looked up at the officer.

"Please…he needs help. I just want to take him home and let his personal staff care for him. I'll surrender once he is safe…"

More secret mobile corps suddenly flash stepped into view all around him and took hold of him as he struggled to break free and to hang on to Byakuya. Renji felt himself being forced to the ground and cried out in anger as Byakuya was torn from his arms and kidou ropes extended and wrapped around his wrists. A moment later, a shock went through him as his spirit energy was sealed away. He caught a glimpse of Byakuya being restrained and carried back to the fourth division. The leader of the secret mobile corps unit knelt next to Renji's restrained form and spoke in a low, sympathetic tone.

"Abarai Renji, you have my apologies. Don't think I am unsympathetic, but Soutaichou is very intent on protecting certain information you have. He wishes for your memories to be adjusted and he said that it was for the best to do this even though it meant lying to you. I am made uneasy by this, because I know you to be a good man. I have to take you in, but I give you this advice. If you want to be there for your taichou, then you need to come along calmly and submit. If you do that, you may be able to simply be mind-wiped and released afterward. But if you give us trouble, we have been ordered to hold you longer…to pursue more serious charges. I overheard the advice Kuchiki taichou gave you earlier while we were monitoring you. You should listen to him…if you want to be there for him."

Renji let out a long sigh and nodded defeatedly. He quietly allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and led away.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya laid unmoving, his eyes wide and senseless as the secret mobile corps stood guard nearby.

"I heard they were moving him to a secret location in the living world," said one guard to the other.

"Damn shame. I can't believe he'd fall apart like that. I gotta wonder. What kind of hell did he and Abarai fukutaichou get sent to to come back in such a condition?"

"Don't ask too many questions," the other advised, "This was supposed to be a simple mind-wipe. This wasn't supposed to happen. The guys who mind-wiped Kuchiki taichou fucked up and overdid it. I guess they figured he would need a stronger dose…"

"Hell with that! They shouldn't be using that shit on enemies, let alone our own. I don't know what information they had, but it wasn't worth this!"

"Well, Abarai will be mind-wiped and probably promoted to Squad Six Taichou after Kuchiki taichou disappears."

"What if Kuchiki taichou regains his senses?"

"Look at him! Those fucking idiots fried his brains. He's not coming back. You can feel he's not flowing any reiatsu. He's gone…"

"Damn! And you gotta wonder what the hell it would take to do that."

"Don't wonder. Don't ask. Just forget…and realize that after they take him…they'll mind-wipe everyone here too. Whatever secret he had…is gone."

The door opened and the guards fell silent. Footsteps crossed the room and a black clad squad two officer stopped by the bed and gazed down at the senseless taichou.

"Time to go, Kuchiki taichou. We have a nice comfortable place for you to stay. We'll make sure no one hurts you."

The man in the bed did not move or respond. The other shook his head and moved forward, lifting Byakuya into his arms. He twitched softly as pale arms looped around his neck and his head came to rest on one shoulder.

"You came back for me…Renji…" Byakuya moaned softly, "I knew you would come back…"

"Yeah, I won't let anyone hurt you, Kuchiki taichou. We're going somewhere safe."

Byakuya's eyes closed and he drifted off as the officer flash stepped away, holding him securely in his arms.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji sat quietly in the Squad Two Cellblock, waiting for the inevitable. He knew the guards would return at some point and erase his memory, but how to avoid it was a question he couldn't seem to answer. He had tried everything he could think of, from distracting his guards to pleading, but nothing could get him outside of the cell. He retreated to a chair in the corner and sat with his face in his hands, remembering his last glimpse of Byakuya…his dark eyes wide with terror, lost…broken.

"Why the fuck did they do that, Taichou?" he whispered, "We were as good as our word! Soutaichou had to know we would keep to what we said. Why would they do that to you? Why are they doing this to us? Where will they have taken you? How do I find you? How will I even know to look for you if they take my memories? Damn! We did what we were sent to do! We did everything we were supposed to! Why, Taichou? Why did they do this?"

His head drooped and he sat leaned against the wall, waiting for the footsteps. When he heard them, he rose to meet his fate wearily…resigned…disillusioned. Suddenly, Renji understood what might have motivated Aizen taichou and the others to abandon the Gotei 13. He understood that even if you followed the rules…you could still get screwed…by your own…

The soft footsteps stopped at his cell and he gazed down at the petite, black clad guard who opened the cell door. He blinked and looked closer and the guard's lips curled into a smile.

"I'm to take you to a secure location for your interrogation," the familiar voice said, "Do not resist."

"I won't," he said, hiding a smile.

He followed the dark form out of the cellblock and into a nearby alleyway. Quickly, the guard pulled him into a doorway.

"Here, Renji," Rukia said in a low voice, "It's a cover form. I'll wear one too. It will hide our identity until we can reach the living world."

"How did you even know I was here? That we were back?" Renji asked as he slipped into the cover form.

"Rikichi," Rukia said softly, "He was near the first division when you arrived and tailed the ones who led you away, then watched to see where they would take you."

"Where is he now?" asked Renji.

"Tailing the ones who have my brother. They were at the fourth division when I last heard from him, but they will probably move him. Something happened that wasn't supposed to, Renji."

"Yeah, I'll tell you what happened, Rukia. We were screwed over…Byakuya and I promised not to say a thing, but Soutaichou was lying when he said we didn't have to be mind-wiped. When we got to the fourth division, secret mobile corps showed up and they tried to mind-wipe him…but they used too much or fucked up somehow…I don't know exactly, but I heard him scream my name and I went to help him. I tried to get him out of there…take him home, but we got surrounded…and they took him. Rukia, he was really out of it when they took him. He sounded like he was completely unhinged."

"Damn it! I knew it was something like that, but I didn't know what. What happened to the two of you?"

Renji gazed at her for a moment.

"Hell…it's not like they kept their part of the agreement, so I guess I don't feel obligated to keep mine. We were sent to the royal palace. Aizen Sosuke attacked and…"

"I heard about that," Rukia said, "but…"

"But you probably didn't know that…"

"Renji…Ukitake taichou knew where they sent my brother and you. He told me that you went to the palace to use the rebirth ritual to birth the new king. He swore me to secrecy."

"Did he tell you anything about the process or our roles?" Renji asked quietly.

"No…but I know it must be bad. What Rikichi saw tells me that whatever it is…it was very bad for my brother. So to help him, I'm going to get you to the senkaimon. I have to stay in plain sight most of the time, because they watch me a lot. I was lucky to give them the slip this time. But you have to get to Urahara Kisuke. He can hide you…and then you and Ichigo can look for Byakuya. I will make contact with Rikichi and bring any new information to you."

"So…once I find Byakuya, what then?" Renji asked softly, "They'll still…"

"Get him to the elders," Rukia said firmly, "Remember, the Kuchikis are the strongest of the noble clans. Once they see what was done to Byakuya, they will provide pressure to keep the two of you safe. The Gotei 13 is strong, but the clans are stronger. They won't tolerate what was done to Byakuya. But Renji, they won't listen to us. They will need to see Byakuya before they will act. We have to find him and we have to bring him back."

Renji nodded.

"I'll find him, Rukia," Renji promised, "I won't stop until I do."

XXXXXXXXXX

"So…you say he was found like this?" asked the doctor, looking at her clipboard, "No name or ID? Nothing from him about a name or…anything?"

"Nothing…just him."

"Damn! I hate these…" the doctor muttered, "I like to know more about my patients."

"Yeah, well, sometimes they just come outta nowhere. Look, I gotta go. I'll catch you next time."

"Thanks," the doctor said, turning to Byakuya, "Now then, let's see if I can get you to talk to me. Sometimes people just don't want to talk to police and security people. Well…now it's just you and me. I promise I just want to help you."

She stepped closer.

"You have beautiful eyes! Kami, you look like an angel with that glowing skin of yours! Come on, angel, tell me what cloud you fell off of. I need a name, some way to help you find your way home. Can you tell me your name?"

The dark gray eyes struggled to focus and his lips moved, but no sound came out. The doctor waited.

"Well," she said finally, "I am Doctor Mika…but you can call me Talia. Now, I told you my name. You think you can give me yours? It's only polite, I mean."

She waited and gazed down at him, trying to give him every chance to rise to the surface. Finally, she sighed and shook her head.

"Looks like we'll have to try again tomorrow. It's time for me to go home now, angel, but if you need anything, a nurse will be coming by to check on you every so often."

She checked the soft restraints and looked down at him sympathetically.

"Tell you what," she said softly, "You talk to me? Tell me your name? And I'll see what I can do to get you out of these. You only need them because we don't know you well enough to know what you'll do if we take them off. If you talk to me, you and I can get to know each other and these won't be necessary. I want to see you get better. I want to see you get out of here. Someone like you doesn't belong here…"

She turned and started toward the door.

"B-bya…"

The doctor stopped and turned. The man's eyes were closed now and he seemed to have drifted off. She stepped back to his side and smiled down at him.

"Sweet dreams, Bya. I will be back in the morning and we can talk more then."


	11. Nightmare

**Chapter 11: Nightmare**

Byakuya shifted uncomfortably in his sleep, pulling fitfully at the soft restraints and moaning. A deep voice echoed in his mind and he felt hands tighten on his wrists.

_You are my Consort and I am your king. Do you know your place?_

"No…no…let…go…let go!"

His chest heaved and he pulled harder on the restraints. The voice continued to echo strangely in his mind and he felt strong arms take hold of him and force him to the ground. His body was slowly penetrated.

"NO…NO! Stop! Renji…Renji…RENJI!" he screamed.

The door opened and two nurses rushed into the room. One leaned over him, talking soothingly and touching his face gently.

"Come now, it's just a dream…Open your eyes, Bya. It's just a dream…"

She slipped a hand into his and shook her head sadly, feeling the shaking in his body.

"Renji…" he moaned, "Renji…Renji…"

"Easy, Bya, you'll be fine, now, shhh…" the nurse said, continuing the light touches on his face and arm.

The second nurse bent over him, checking his vital signs.

"He's very distressed. I think we need sedation."

The nurse sitting at his side shook her head gently.

"Look, Doctor Mika doesn't like us to just drug them up. It usually just makes things worse. I'll sit with him. It's safe enough with him in restraints. I don't have anything I have to do for a while."

The second nurse looked from her colleague to the lovely face of the restrained man in the bed and sighed.

"Yeah, you're probably right. It would probably just make it worse with him being more out of it. See what you can do with him. I'll be back by in a little while to check his vitals again. If he's still distressed, we have to sedate him."

"Fine," muttered the nurse at Byakuya's bedside, "You know where to find me."

"Yeah," said the other nurse, "I know."

The nurse beside the bed leaned closer to Byakuya, slipping a hand into his and speaking in a soft voice.

"Try to get some sleep now. I'll sit with you for a while. I think it's better if we don't have to give you anything, but you have to work with me."

Byakuya's eyes opened and he struggled to focus.

"Renj…Ren…Renji…What happened to Renji?"

The nurse leaned closer.

"Renji? Is that someone you know? Does he have a last name?"

"A…Ab…arai…Renji…" moaned Byakuya, "Where did they take Abarai Renji?"

"Who is Abarai Renji? What is your name?"

"B-Byakuya…K…Bya…Byakuya…"

"Byakuya," said the nurse.

The dark eyes cleared slightly.

"Can you find Abarai Renji?" he managed softly.

The nurse smiled.

"We'll find your friend in the morning. Sleep, Byakuya. Doctor Mika will come and talk to you in the morning. She'll help you with your nightmares…and we'll try to locate your friend."

Byakuya met her eyes briefly and nodded.

"Arigato…" he whispered, drifting off.

The nurse smiled.

"Try to have better dreams, Byakuya. We'll have you back with your friend, Renji, in no time!" she promised.

She squeezed his hand gently and felt a surge of hope when he did the same to hers.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji slipped into Urahara's shop and removed his cover form, then looked around. Kisuke turned the corner ahead of him and nearly ran into him.

"Ah! Renji, you scared the heck out of me! Come on, we can talk in the training room. We need to get where the secret mobile corps can't sense your reiatsu."

Renji followed him down the hallway and down the long ladder into the secret training grounds.

"Rukia told me that you and Byakuya were in trouble. Yoruichi went to the Seireitei to try to get information. Spill…What happened? How can we help?"

"It's kind of a long story," Renji said, sitting down.

"That's okay, I've got time," Kisuke assured him, "Tell me what happened."

"Okay, you know that Aizen, Gin and Tousen managed to break into the spirit dimension, right?"

Kisuke nodded.

"Yeah, but we heard they were killed."

"That's true, but what most people don't know is that they managed to kill the entire royal family."

"Shit…not good," muttered Kisuke.

"Yeah, well, Soutaichou told the taichous that to avoid the collision of our worlds, a rebirth had to be attempted. Only Soutaichou knew how it would be done. He chose Byakuya and me to go to the spirit dimension to assist in the rebirth. My body was inhabited by an Interim King whose job it was to gather and render reiatsu, which was then placed in Byakuya's body to be stabilized. When the reiatsu filled him and had stabilized, the new Spirit King emerged from Byakuya's body."

"How was the reiatsu placed in Byakuya's body?" asked Kisuke.

"He was forced to submit to intimacy with the Interim King."

"Bloody hell! That's awful!" exclaimed Kisuke.

"Worse for him, Kisuke," Renji said, shaking his head, "Byakuya had never been taken…so his first experience was being dragged down and forced to have sex with the spirit that was inhabiting my body. And it wasn't just once…it was many times, over several months. By the time he birthed the Spirit King, he was a mess. We came back to the Seireitei and we were met by secret mobile corps. They surrounded us and took us to Soutaichou. Soutaichou told us that our mission had been classified and that our memories of it were to be taken."

"That's not nice…"

"You're telling me! Anyway, Byakuya managed to convince Soutaichou to allow us to keep our memories if we were sworn to secrecy. We were taken to the fourth division where we were supposed to just be medically evaluated, but when we got there, they tried to mind-wipe Byakuya. And because he was so overwhelmed by what happened in the spirit dimension, he lost it and started screaming for me. I grabbed him and tried to run, but we got caught and they took him to the fourth division. I think they were going to move him, but I'm not sure."

"Yeah, I just got a hell butterfly from Rukia, saying that Rikichi overheard that they were taking him somewhere, but was grabbed before he could tell Rukia anything. When he turned up again, he didn't remember anything."

"Damn! That's bad…but Rukia said in her message to me that Hanatarou overheard that Kuchiki taichou was being taken to the living world."

"So he's here!" Renji exclaimed.

"Yeah," Kisuke agreed, "but the living world is a big place, Renji. We have to figure out where they would stash him. Now, you said he was pretty out of it? Incoherent?"

"Hai…he was not coherent when I saw him last."

"Then, if they're keeping him drugged up, I'm guessing they'll stash him in either a safe house with attendants, a hospital, or an asylum somewhere. I'll have Tessai get on the computer and make up a list of those for us to check out. Now, I know he was incoherent, but did he have any use of his powers or did they seal them away?"

"They probably sealed them away…but they needn't have bothered, because he lost his powers in the spirit dimension and they hadn't returned."

"Okay…I have some really sharp sensing devices that detect even very small amounts of reiatsu and can hone in on life force matter. I'll have Tessai prepare my sensory devices and while we're out looking for Kuchiki taichou, we can use the sensors in our search."

"Brilliant! Good thinking!" exclaimed Renji.

"Thanks! I always try to…"

He stopped abruptly as a hell butterfly fluttered in and settled on his fingertip.

_Kisuke, I'm having a lot more trouble than usual getting information. Soi fon is suspicious of everyone and she tried following me. I don't want to lead her back to you, so I'll need more time to get back. Tell Renji that he is wanted for escaping the second division so to be extra careful and wear his cover form when he goes looking for Byakuya. Tell Ichigo to wear a cover form too. It's just too dangerous right now. I'm going to try a couple more avenues to getting information, then I will come and join the search for Byakuya. I might bring Rukia. I'm worried they might try to grab her to get Renji to come out of hiding._

"Well, it looks like the old man is pretty bent on keeping this thing about the king all hush, hush. He's really playing hardball. I think Rukia was right when she said that he was determined. You and Byakuya are in some big trouble."

"Rukia said that if we find Byakuya and take him before the Kuchiki council of elders, the elders may decide to go to war with the Gotei 13. The other clans will be in support of the Kuchiki clan, because no clan wants to see the Gotei 13 overstep its boundaries. This is one of those times when it's a good thing that Byakuya is a clan leader. That's really going to work in our favor. But we have to find Byakuya before the clan will act. They're not going to take the risk of starting an all out war with the Gotei 13 if they don't have actual proof of what has happened to Byakuya. So…it's all about finding him. Now…I want you to stay down here and try to get a little rest while Tessai works on getting that list generated. Don't worry, Renji. We'll find Byakuya."

"We have to, Kisuke," Renji said, desperation in his voice, "He is in really bad shape and if we don't find him soon, then there may not be much of him to rescue!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Doctor Mika knocked lightly on the door to Byakuya's room and then opened it and walked in. Byakuya rested calmly in the bed with his eyes open and gazing up at the ceiling.

"Good morning," she said, sweetly, "I heard you were chatting with one of the nurses last night. She told me your full name is Byakuya. Is that true?"

Byakuya met her eyes, but frowned in confusion.

"I…don't know," he said softly.

"Yes, they said that your lucidity came and went. I ran a check on the name you gave me, Abarai Renji, and I did come up with a high school kid with that name, but I have to send someone to the school today to look for him. I hope it's your friend. We could really use some help figuring out just who you belong to!"

"Abarai…Renji," Byakuya repeated, "Abarai Renji. It feels familiar when I say it…"

"Well…it seemed to be a familiar name to you last night, so it should come back to you. Now, why don't you think for a bit and see if you can't think of anything more you can tell us about yourself. Anything will help…names, places…you know. When you close your eyes, do you see anything in your mind?"

Byakuya closed his eyes.

"Sakura," he said quietly, "I see sakura petals falling!"

The doctor nodded.

"That is good. Now, I think we have established that you are not a danger to yourself or my staff, so I am going to remove the soft restraints for the night. One of the nurses seemed to get the impression that something bad happened to you in which you were restrained. That nurse usually has good instincts, so I'll ask you…Do you remember anything bad happening where you were held down or tied up?"

Byakuya thought carefully and shook his head.

"I…don't remember…"

The doctor leaned over him and began to remove the restraints. As she did, Byakuya looked down at his wrists and his eyes glazed over.

"No…no…stop…"

"Byakuya?" said Doctor Mika curiously, "Byakuya, what is it?"

Byakuya stared at the restraints and began to pull against them.

"You…can't do this!"

"What is it, Byakuya? Can you tell me what is happening?"

"It's…it's….him…He had his hand around my wrist…and…he…"

"Who is it? Who put his hand on your wrist, Byakuya?"

"He…pushed me onto the ground and…"

He gasped softly and seemed to settle deeper into the bed and become calm and empty eyed. The doctor observed him carefully and sighed softly.

"I'm so sorry, Byakuya," she said softly, "I'm sorry someone hurt you in some way and sorry we haven't been able to help you. Most of all, I'm sorry we can't leave off these stupid restraints."

She leaned over him and touched his face gently. The dark eyes opened and observed her sleepily.

"Try to sleep now, Byakuya. We will talk again later."

She got up and walked to the door, looked back over her shoulder, smiling in farewell and walked out. Byakuya waited until it was quiet, then began testing his restraints. He still felt confused and he was unsure why the people in this place were so intent on keeping him there. He smiled as he noticed that one of the restraints was still loose where the doctor had begun to remove it. Twisting and working at it, he managed after a fashion to get one hand free. After that, it was easy enough to slip the other out. He listened until the hallway was quiet, then slipped out of his bed and listened at the door for the moment. It was too noisy. He turned instead to the window and managed to force it open enough so that he could slip out onto the ledge. He moved along, his back against the building and his hair blowing softly in the breeze. He tried not to look down. He wanted to forget that he had no powers, that if he fell, he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"Byakuya…" said a soft, feminine voice, "Byakuya, honey, come on back inside, okay? It isn't safe out there for you!"

Byakuya's eyes widened and he began backing away.

"Stop…Byakuya…Honey, no one here wants to hurt you or to see you get hurt. Come back in, okay? Byakuya?"

He backed up another step.

Suddenly, strong arms reached through an open window and grabbed him.

"NO! NO! STOP!" he gasped as he was pulled inside and forced down onto the floor.

And in his fevered mind, he felt hands pulling his clothes away.

"D-don't!" he cried, "D-don't! Renji! I need…Renji…"

Something sharp pricked his arm and the room began to fade around him.

"Renji! Renji…Ren…"

He fell silent and slowly relaxed in the arms of the orderly who had pulled him back inside. The man carefully lifted him and started back to the room he had come from.

"That was very reckless…Kuchiki taichou…" he murmured.


	12. Not Left in Darkness

**Chapter 12: Not Left in Darkness**

"Kurosaki Ichigo…please report to the main office…Kurosaki Ichigo…report to the main office…"

"Oh man!" muttered Ichigo, "Like I don't have enough to deal with!"

He sighed heavily and turned toward the office. He grew even more impatient at the sight of the line of students waiting.

"Great! It's not enough I have to skip half of my classes chasing down hollows, now I've got to spend half a day waiting for…"

He had stopped to plop down into a chair to wait, but found his eye distracted by a woman who was standing at the counter, talking to the school secretary.

"He keeps asking for an Abarai Renji. I conducted a search on our computers and your school had a record of a student by that name."

"Yes," said the school secretary, "We do have a student by that name, but he attends infrequently, I'm afraid."

"And there is no way to reach him? This is very important. The patient I told you about is not able to explain exactly who he is, or to tell us anything about himself. He is only partially lucid. But he keeps asking for Abarai Renji."

"Sorry to interrupt," said Ichigo, coming to his feet, "but I can bring Abarai Renji to you. Where is the man who you are talking about?"

The woman turned and regarded Ichigo with a deeply relieved expression.

"Oh, thank goodness! I'm sorry…I am Elisa. I work at the hospital across town. I guess you heard…we have an unidentified patient, a black haired, light skinned male with dark gray eyes…a little under six feet tall. He is very confused. He says his name is Byakuya and that he knows this Abarai Renji."

"Byakuya?"

"Yes, that was the name he gave us."

You say that he is in the hospital across town?"

"Yes," the nurse said, handing him a card, "That is the address. It would be best if you contact Abarai Renji soon. Byakuya is scheduled to be moved to a long term facility today. I just…didn't want to see him go to that place if there was some way to prevent it. He is such a very calm, quiet person…not at all like the others in that place. I would fear for him, having to go to a place like that."

"Well, don't worry," Ichigo assured the woman, "I'll have Renji there in two shakes!"

"You mean…after school hours!" the secretay said sternly, looking over her glasses.

She blinked and stared, suddenly realizing that Ichigo was gone. Shaking her head, she turned back to her work.

_I hope he hurries, _thought Elisa, turning to leave, _I would hate to see someone like that in that horrible place!_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Riku," Doctor Mika said quietly, "Will you please go and see if the ambulance has come? I will wait with Byakuya until they arrive."

"Hai," the orderly said, bowing.

He turned and left the room, leaving the doctor alone with the restrained patient. She sat down next to Byakuya and set her clipboard on the small table next to her. Her eyes were sad as she studied his face, wondering who he really was, where he came from, and what had brought him to such a fate.

"I hate this," she whispered, "the times I can't find an answer. I became a doctor so that I could help people…and I want so much to believe I can help you. If only you hadn't gotten loose…If only you hadn't gone out on that ledge. Byakuya…it's so unfair…the way things happen sometimes. But now they are convinced that you are a danger to yourself…and this hospital cannot provide a safe place for you. But I know. The place they are taking you…It isn't a place you go when you are meant to recover. It is a place you go to be forgotten. And someone like you…is not meant to be forgotten."

She slipped a hand into his and squeezed it gently. The dark, beautiful eyes opened and met hers with calm curiosity. She wanted to cry at the pain she saw there…and she wondered again what could have caused him such pain. Not that it mattered now. Once the ambulance left the hospital, he would be gone…and she would likely never hear his fate.

"Well, there is a last possibility," she whispered to him, "I sent Elisa out to try to find Abarai Renji. If she finds him quickly enough, then maybe…"

But it was a slim hope. Still…any hope would be welcome. She smiled down at Byakuya and felt a soft swell of hope. A moment later, it was shattered as the door opened and the orderly stepped into the room.

"Ah," she said sadly, "is the ambulance here?"

"Not yet," the orderly told her, "It is on the way and will arrive in a half hour."

Doctor Mika nodded.

"Thank you, Riku. Please leave us. I need to conduct a final examination and prepare him for the transfer."

"Hai," the orderly said, bowing.

He paused for a moment, studying the way she was looking at Byakuya.

"I am sorry," he said quietly, "I know you did your best to help him. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. But I will offer you this comfort. I have been told that I am to be transferred to work in the facility where he will be kept. I will make sure that he is treated with kindness and that he is not harmed."

Doctor Mika looked up at him gratefully.

"Thank you. That is a comfort. It is sad there is no way to help him. I do hope that if you watch over him and he is kept safe and comfortable…that someday, he will find himself again."

The orderly bowed his head slightly.

"I hope so as well. And I will make sure he has every opportunity to grow well again."

"Thank you."

"Hai," he said, bowing again and slipping back out the door.

The doctor turned back to Byakuya.

"So you will be watched over," she sighed softly, "It is not an answer, but it is a comfort…and we are lucky to have those comforts when things get difficult."

She felt pressure on her hand and looked down into the lovely, sad eyes.

"Arigato," Byakuya whispered, "It is not your fault."

Her eyes widened.

"Byakuya?"

"Hai," he answered softly.

"You…know yourself again?" she asked.

"I feel…confused. But I know I am Byakuya. And I know I can trust you."

"We are trying to find Abarai Renji," she told him, leaning forward, "I sent Elisa to the school where he was registered."

"The…school?"

"Yes…he is a student at the high school across town from here. And I sent the nurse, Elisa to the school to inquire where he might be found."

"I…don't remember a school. Just…his name. And I think I see his face."

The doctor squeezed his hand again.

"He will come for you, Byakuya. And even if it isn't before your transfer, I will make sure he finds you. I hope that he can help you to remember more."

She opened her mouth to say more, but at that moment, the door opened and two men rushed into the room. The doctor came to her feet quickly as a young man with long red hair and black tattoos approached the bed and smiled down at Byakuya. Byakuya returned his smile uncertainly.

"Renji?" Byakuya whispered, staring.

"Yeah, it's me," Renji said, sitting down next to him, "You ready to get out of here?"

"Hai."

Renji reached for the restraints.

"Wait," the doctor said solemnly, "You can't just take him and go. There are forms to sign, procedures to follow…"

"Hey," said Ichigo from the doorway, "I think he's been through enough. Just…let them go."

The door opened again and the orderly entered with a wheelchair, almost knocking Ichigo down. Looking up, he caught his breath as he recognized Ichigo and Renji.

"You two…"

"Yeah," said Ichigo, "Who the hell are you?"

"I am Riku Atillo, fourth seat of the second division and an officer of the secret mobile corps."

"You were sent to guard him, weren't you?" Renji asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Hai…I am responsible for Kuchiki taichou's protection while he is recovering. I am sorry, Abarai Renji, but Kuchiki taichou is not allowed to have visitors…as per Soutaichou's own order. He doesn't want Kuchiki taichou to encounter anything that will upset him."

"Or help him remember?" Renji asked sarcastically.

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "but do you all…know each other?"

Riku removed a small device from his pocket and pushed a button. A flash of light blinded everyone for a moment, then the doctor slumped in her chair and her eyes closed.

"Nice!" said Ichigo sarcastically, "You know, you guys suck!"

He stepped forward, shifting into shinigami form and drawing his weapon as the officer did the same.

"Get him out of here, Renji," Ichigo said, glaring at the secret mobile corps officer, "I got this jerk!"

"Hey…I'm just doing my job! I've got nothing against Kuchiki taichou. I was actually ordered to protect him."

"Protect him from his own fukutaichou? From his friends and family? C'mon Riku! That's not protection. That's imprisonment!" said Renji disgustedly, "We both know what we're talking about here. Soutaichou might not want him physically hurt…but he did want him out of the way, probably so he didn't have to look at the result of his own mistake. We didn't do anything wrong, Riku. We were just like you…following orders, doing our jobs…and look what it got us. Taichou is half out of his mind with pain…and I know the Gotei 13 is looking for me. I'm a fugitive. All because I took their orders and did my job. How does doing your job feel now?"

Riku's eyes lowered.

"Abarai fukutaichou…I…don't know what to say."

"Look," said Ichigo, "You don't need to say anything. You can do the right thing here. Just turn your back and walk out that door. Let Renji take care of his taichou. Wouldn't you do the same for yours?"

The secret mobile corps officer looked up and met Byakuya's calm gaze. He let out a long sigh and slowly turned to leave.

"I would suggest that you get out of here quickly," Riku advised them, "I will have to raise the alarm and secret mobile corps will be all over this town. Take him somewhere safe and don't get caught. Soutaichou is very upset over what happened to Kuchiki taichou. He blames you for your rash behavior at the fourth division. I know you were only protecting him, but Soutaichou thinks that you are dangerous. Your punishment will be harsh if you are caught."

"We won't get caught," Renji said in a low voice, "I won't let anyone take him away from me again."

The secret mobile corps officer nodded solemnly and walked out of the room. Renji turned back to Byakuya, smiling gently.

"Taichou…are you ready to get out of here?"

"Where are we going?" asked Byakuya.

"Somewhere safe, Taichou," Renji promised, "somewhere where you can really heal."

He lifted Byakuya into his arms and moved to the window. Ichigo sheathed his weapon.

"Where are you taking him?" Ichigo asked.

"To a safe house Urahara told me about. We'll wait there until he's well enough for us to go back."

"It looks like that might be a while, Renji," Ichigo said, studying Byakuya's calm, distant expression.

"Yeah," said Renji, tightening his grip on the noble, "It might be."

He leapt out the window and flash stepped away from the hospital with Ichigo following in his wake. They moved quickly back across town, speaking little. Byakuya looped his arms around Renji's neck and rested his head on the redhead's warm shoulder.

"Relax, Taichou, we'll be there soon," Renji told him quietly.

They crossed a large nature preserve filled with open grassland, large trees and a large crystalline blue lake. Flash stepping up a hillside, they landed on a small residential street and made their way to one of the houses. Renji set Byakuya back on his feet and opened the front door. The three walked inside and Renji turned on the lights and closed the door, locking it behind him.

Byakuya left Renji's side and walked slowly across the room, then dropped into a large overstuffed sofa that looked out a bay window over the lake. He leaned on the armrest, bringing his head to rest on a throw pillow and letting his eyes grow distant again.

Renji's eyes followed him silently, then he turned back to Ichigo.

"Thanks, Ichigo, for helping me get Byakuya out of there."

"No problem." Ichigo said, gazing at Byakuya, "That's what friends are for. I'm going to go back to Kisuke's and let him know what happened."

Renji nodded and watched in silence as Ichigo left, closing and locking the door behind him. Renji felt a shiver go through him as he turned back and walked across the room to where Byakuya sat dozing on the sofa. He sat down next to the noble and gazed at him quietly as the dark eyes opened and he turned to look at Renji.

"Taichou," Renji said softly, "Are you all right?"

Byakuya gave him a heart-melting smile.

"I am not exactly all right," he admitted, "but my heart tells me that as long as I am with you…I will be all right. We will be all right."

"What do you remember?"

Byakuya sighed softly.

"Different things at different times. Things come and go with the sound of a voice, a familiar scent, sometimes with the touch of a person's hand. I know my name is Byakuya and that you are Renji and that I trust you. Sometimes I remember someplace that I know to be home…and another place…a place that was achingly beautiful, but horrible things happened there. I remember feeling my heart break from being betrayed. And I remember being in the dark…until you came back."

"I will never leave you in darkness…or in pain…anymore," Renji promised, reaching out and placing a hand on Byakuya's cheek.

The noble's eyes closed halfway and he nuzzled the hand that touched him, turning to brush his lips against the pad of a thumb. He set one hand on the hand that touched his face and leaned closer to Renji, bringing his lips to the redhead's, meeting him for a light, tentative kiss. Their eyes opened and met for a moment, then their lips moved together again

"I remember now, Renji," Byakuya whispered, "I remember that I was falling in love with you…"

"You were," Renji agreed, "and I was already in love with you."


	13. Falling Into Light

**Chapter 13: Falling into Light**

"How is it possible," Byakuya whispered, "to know that I was falling for you, but to not remember why or how? I should remember something of those things."

"Maybe," Renji said, tracing the noble's soft lips with a fingertip, "it's because falling in love didn't happen quickly. We've known each other for a long time…sat in the same office, day after day…close, but never touching. And what happened…happened so slowly, so gradually that we didn't see it coming…didn't know it for what it was until it was taken away from us."

"I don't understand," Byakuya said, staring, "How was it taken away?"

"We were sent to the spirit dimension. Do you remember being there? That place…the place you said was so beautiful, but horrible things happened there. When we went there, we were taken away from ourselves. We were taken away from each other. You became the Consort who carried the reiatsu of the new Spirit King. The Interim King inhabited my body and rendered the king's reiatsu, then was intimate with you to place the reiatsu in your body. When the reiatsu stabilized, the new Spirit King emerged from your body."

"I don't remember that."

Renji smiled.

"I'm not sure whether that is good or bad, Taichou. In one way, I understand why Soutaichou wanted you to forget. He saw how much you had suffered and he hated himself for sending you there, even though he felt there had been no choice. Soutaichou is not a bad man…He just…thinks differently than we do sometimes. But then, I think it might be better for you to remember, because I don't want the bad memories to break into your mind and frighten you…and I think you cannot get free of the dark feelings about what happened until you remember and deal with how it all made you feel."

Byakuya slipped a hand into his.

"I know that remembering is important, but this, what we are feeling. This is important too. And we were forced to abandon it out of a sense of duty. We set it aside to find it again when our hearts were freed of responsibility…but by the time that time came…I had become too broken…"

"Taichou," Renji whispered, pulling Byakuya closer, "you are never to broken to allow your heart to feel love…or to feel when you are loved. We went where we had to go. We saw to our responsibilities, and now we need to take care of each other. We need to see to our healing."

He lifted Byakuya and stood, bringing their lips together as he moved across the room and into the bedroom. He set Byakuya down on the bed and the noble slipped beneath the blankets and moved over, making room. Renji gazed at him for a moment, then slipped into bed beside him. He moved so that he leaned over the noble and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Taichou…" Renji breathed softly.

Byakuya touched his lips with a fingertip.

"Don't call me that."

Renji stared at him questioningly.

"I want to be called by my name…I want you to call me Byakuya."

Renji's eyes widened.

"T-taichou…Byakuya…are you sure?"

"Abarai Renji…my name is the only thing I am really sure of right now…besides the way I feel about you. If those are the only two things that are certain, I want to embrace them. I want you to call me by name…"

Renji stared into his eyes.

"Call me by my name, Renji."

He paused a moment longer, his brown eyes locked on Byakuya's.

"Byakuya…"

Byakuya reached up and placed his hands on either side of the redhead's face, pulling him into a deeper kiss, then another…and another. He felt the gentle touch of a questing tongue on his lips and parted them, accepting Renji's soft and gentle exploration of his mouth. He slid his tongue slowly along the one that explored him so lovingly and curled around it, teasing and tempting it further and further inside and moaning softly at the sensation the contact sent through his aching heart and all through his body. A flash of heat passed over him and left him feeling breathless and light. He was surrounded by pleasant touches and tender emotions one moment, then Renji's hand pulled at the tie at his waist and Byakuya suddenly felt the coldness returning.

He didn't want to stop what was happening…because he knew it was what they both wanted…and they had already set it aside to see to their duties. But the assignment was over and their hearts were finally freed to love each other…and whatever had happened in that beautiful and horrible place, he didn't want it to intrude on the beauty of what they were feeling now.

But the feeling of coldness was buried in his core, a coldness that wrapped around his heart and locked out the warmth of what was building between them. Renji's hands had slipped beneath his clothing and moved gently over the planes and curves of his body. Everything about the way he was being touched was gentle and affectionate, but he couldn't help but shiver softly at the feeling of invasion, at the soft clutch of fear that gripped him. He breathed in deeply and exhaled to try to release himself from the feeling.

Renji's mouth left his and traveled slowly down his throat, bathing the skin in light kisses that soothed the ache in his heart and sent warmth flowing back through him. Perhaps, he thought, it would be all right. Perhaps he was ready to move beyond what had happened before and to embrace in its fullness what was happening in this moment.

He held on to that desire and moved forward, sinking his fingers into the redhead's long, silken hair. He opened his eyes and watched Renji's hands play over his pale skin and gazed at his blissful expression as he treasured the soft flesh of throat and chest, as he moved slowly down the length of Byakuya's body, bathing it in healing breath, soothing kisses and touches…every move filled with desire and love.

His heart beat faster, sending soft, dizzy waves through his tired mind. He closed his eyes again and immediately wished he hadn't, as he encountered upon doing so a hard flash of memory.

_You are my Consort and I am your king. Do you know your place?_

His breath caught sharply and he flinched beneath the loving hands and mouth that still moved over his body, slowly learning its planes and curves and hollows, its sensitive areas…

_You are my Consort…_

He opened his eyes to see again the loving brown eyes and black tattoos, but the sun was streaming into the window and bathing their skin in brightness, turning it golden. He couldn't see properly. And the eyes of the man on top of him were closed…

_I am your king…_

"No…" he whispered.

But the warm mouth moved downward and wrapped around him, sliding up and down his length and tormenting him gently with strokes of a wickedly skillful tongue. Soft fingertips pleasured him as that devilish mouth moved, and he felt the fingers moved downward, touching him lightly, then beginning to prepare him.

_Do you know your place?_

His mind screamed and a hard shiver went through him. He tried again to reassure himself that this was Renji, that they were in the living world, that this was what he wanted.

_Why are you crying?_

He turned his head away, arching his back as Renji's mouth continued to pleasure him and the gentle fingers carefully prepared him.

_Why are you crying?_

His chest heaved and he thought he might have made some kind of sound, a small, wounded cry…but he couldn't be sure.

_Why are you crying?_

The mouth released him and he felt Renji moving, rising up over him. He couldn't look, couldn't turn his head to see, couldn't bear the thought of those cold, golden eyes, of the methodical touches and the relentless penetration of his body.

He heard a soft gasp of realization and all of the touches ceased. He felt himself being lifted and pulled close, wrapped in warm, affectionate arms.

"Kami, why didn't you say anything? Why did you let me keep going on like that? Byakuya, I'm sorry…I wasn't trying to hurt you, I swear. What did I do? What did I do wrong?" Renji whispered miserably.

Byakuya buried his face in the thick red hair, breathing in and out slowly and trying to stop the hard spinning of his thoughts, trying to force out the words he wanted to say. He wanted to say he was all right, that it wasn't Renji's fault, that he didn't want to stop. But he couldn't trust his voice and he was shaking so hard and felt so awfully cold inside that he couldn't move, let alone speak.

"Byakuya…please, say something. Byakuya…I'm sorry."

A strange numbness began to steal over him and the room began to fade around him. He thought he heard Renji's voice, but it blended with the cold voice of the king, with the stern voice of an old man, with the solemn, bored monotone of a group of noble elders. His heart was beating too fast and the light coming through the window was too bright. He was blinded and falling, lost somewhere between worlds. Renji's voice had disappeared into a sea of pain and a deep darkness, that stole over the room and swallowed the light.

But somehow as he fell, a pair of loving arms managed to reach him, to curl around him and hold him. He was poised on the edge of madness, on the verge of a complete loss of self. He could feel the abyss and the strength of the arms that held him away from it.

And he decided that he wasn't going to let go and let himself be lost. Instead, he clung to the loving, warm arms and let his eyes close, and sank back on the bed and let sleep overtake him.

He ached for the one who was holding him, the one whose hold on him was so secure, the one whose voice was filled with the ache of intense sadness, the one whose tears had joined his own.

And he realized that recovery wasn't just something that was difficult for him. It was every bit as difficult for this one who had chosen to stay with him through everything, who had willingly taken on the weight of his shattered heart and resolved that he would be the one to see it was mended, healed, made whole again.

He knew he couldn't leave that other to feel alone, lost and cold in the darkness of what was happening. They had resolved to share this…to support each other, not to leave each other alone. He reached down inside himself and forced out the smallest of whispers as the darkness swept over him and he drifted away.

"R-renji…"

He could feel the trembling of that other body and he felt a tear splash onto his skin…and the soft, plaintive voice that pleaded with him to surface, to open his eyes, to say something. But he had lost the ability to speak again…and his mind was fading away. He sank deeper into the arms that held him and let everything around him disappear.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji held Byakuya's unresponsive body against him and ignored the tears that streamed down his own face. He reminded himself that he had known that recovery wasn't something that would happen overnight…or in days, or even weeks. Byakuya was going to need months, perhaps years to recover, to regain his confidence, to fully move beyond what he had been made to become.

And he should have been more sensitive to that…

_What the fuck was I thinking, trying to make love to him like that? It was selfish, damned selfish…He wasn't ready. If I'd taken a moment to think about what was best for him instead of what I was feeling, I wouldn't have hurt him like that. What am I doing? What made me think that I could heal him? What made me think I was smarter than the healers who tried to help him? Why did I think that he would suddenly look at me and not need help anymore. I'm not a god…I'm not a healer…And right now, I was about as cold in what I tried to do as the one who shattered him._

_And look at him…_

_He's so damned broken that he can't even move! He's lying there like a stone in my arms. He can't even speak to me. I don't know how to help him. I don't know how to bring him back._

"What was I thinking?" Renji whispered, "I really wasn't trying to hurt you. I am in love with you and I know you feel the same. But you can't speak the words, right now. Your mouth can't form the words…and your body can't move. You're trapped in your own mind, locked away with the memories of what happened in that other place…with that other person…the one who used me to break you. I wish that I knew the way to bring you back again. I wish I knew what words or thoughts, what actions would break through and make you come back again. But I don't know…and I can't do those things. The one thing I can do is to hold you. I can wrap my arms around you and I know that wherever you've gone, you will still feel them. I know it because I can feel you holding on. You wouldn't be holding on so tightly if you didn't feel my arms around you."

"R-renji…"

"That's right…You know whose arms are holding you, Byakuya. You know. Even though you are lost and it feels like you're a thousand miles away, our hearts are closer than that. We can still feel each others' hearts. Hold on to that. Now rest, sleep, let everything fade away. It will help if you sleep for a while. And when you wake up again, I will be here. And I swear to you, I will never hurt you like that again. I won't let it happen again, I promise."

He fell silent, laying back against the pillows, holding Byakuya against one shoulder and watching the light turn golden-orange and red as it began to fade. He was thankful for the cooling darkness that followed, for the descent into night, so that he could close his eyes and try to distance himself by sleeping.

But sleep refused to come…

He couldn't clear his mind of the shattering blow to his heart, when he rose up over Byakuya, the taste of that pale, sweet flesh still pleasuring his mouth, the warmth of the love he felt so strong inside him. To have felt so much, only to have it destroyed, broken by the impossible sight of Byakuya's face drenched in tears, turned aside…his body taut. Why hadn't he felt it sooner? Why hadn't he known to stop? Why had he even let it begin? He should have known Byakuya wasn't ready. There were no two ways about it.

He should have known…

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into the soft, black sakura scented hair.


	14. His Possession

**Chapter 14: His Possession**

Renji felt the first gentle touches and found himself in the midst of the most beautiful dream he had ever experienced. He knew that it had to be a dream, because the lips and breath that touched his skin were too light and perfect to have been made by anything but a divine creature. And the moonlit white skin…and the raven black hair that danced on breezes that seemed to come from nowhere…couldn't have been the possession of any but what the living world folk called angels.

This was…and wasn't Byakuya. The shape of face and body was that of Byakuya, but this creature's eyes sparked with life and passion. His touches on Renji's body were perfect and placed with the confidence of one who had done so many times before. It was as though he was reading the redhead's mind. So in tune with the ebb and flow of Renji's emotions and passions, he was left stunned and overtaken with desire and far too entranced to resist.

He stared at the white touches of moonlight that shined on his hair…and how his skin glowed and sparkled like white gold. And all of the light brought into perfect focus a body that had to have been handmade by the Spirit King himself. There was no possibility in Renji's mind that this creature couldn't have been born of shinigami parents. He was far too beautiful.

_This can't be real. That can't be Byakuya, can it? But his hands feel like my taichou's hands and I know from touching him when we were together that I'm looking at his body. But Byakuya's powers haven't returned…and he is far too damaged yet to be doing something like this…_

The soft, lovely mouth found his and Renji was treated to the sweetest of kisses, filled with heat and white fire, as a body that radiated light and warmth settled onto his.

_Kami, I've never had a dream this good…so good…so perfect…_

He felt the gentle questing touch of the other's tongue on his lips and yielded before he made a conscious decision to do so. His lips parted and that hungry, searching appendage plunged inside and captured his, touching and tasting, pleasuring so deeply that Renji felt like he was spellbound, held by beautiful sakura ropes he couldn't see, but that were wielded by this being who didn't just know him…but who lived and breathed with him. He moaned and opened his mouth wider as the other pushed in farther, exploring Renji with half-closed eyes and a blissful expression.

_No one has ever done this to me before…_

_How does he know…_

_Ah…kami…how does he know me like this?_

He knew he had never experienced a kiss so intimate, one so bent on finding and touching and pleasuring…one that left no part of his mouth forgotten.

_This…is a dream, right? Kami, this can't really be Byakuya, can it?_

But as his mouth left Renji's, the redhead opened his eyes again and met those others. And they were his taichou's eyes…deep and gray and as beautiful as he remembered them, but he had never seen Byakuya's eyes sparkle as though there were stars somewhere beneath him. And Byakuya's gaze had never been filled with such emotion. They had made Renji feel cold sometimes, or scared shitless…but they had never made him feel so desired, so prized, so deeply treasured…

_Shit! I can't move!_

_And what if this is real?_

_And what if he's just lost his senses?_

_I can't tell if this is real or not!_

_Damn!_

The other's regal head bowed as he leaned forward again. And the hair fell forward with him, dancing down over the left side of his face, spilling over his shoulders and falling down to tease Renji's trembling flesh as that perfect mouth traced its way down the side of his face, as sweet breath tickled throat and ear and as pleasant nips and suction drew a deep, languid moan from Renji's lips, sending his head went into a hard spin.

_I…have to ask…_

_I…have to know…_

"B-byakuya?" he managed in a whisper.

Soft fingertips touched his lips, stilling the words he wanted to say. The night-fired eyes rose to meet his and the gentle, deep voice softly intoned…

"You needn't speak my name…"

And Renji was left immobilized, held down and pleasured by the body above him, trapped by his calm, loving presence, made prisoner by the emotions and sensations that rocketed through him as the lovely, pale form slowly worked its way down his body.

Slender, pale hands followed the curves of his chest as the other's head bowed again and the long, wild strands of black silk teased his skin, while that hungry, perfect mouth descended on his body again, lazily devouring the skin along a collarbone, pausing to sink his tongue into the hollow where the collarbones met, lowering his lips to brush along the strong pectorals and extending a lustful pink tongue to pleasure one already erect nipple, then the other. Renji felt a dizzying flash of heat pass over his skin. He was falling so far beneath the raven-haired beauty's spell that he worried he might never break free.

_And what if this isn't a dream?_

_What if it's really him?_

_And what if this will make things worse?_

_What…if…?_

But that beautiful tongue stole his ability to reason. It stroked deeply, making a line from sternum to navel before sinking inside and leaving Renji breathless and panting as the wet mouth closed over the area and warm suction sent hard shivers through the redhead, leaving him speechless, but not unmoving.

He couldn't help moving. Caught beneath the strong, slender hands that held him so tightly and pleasured by that sweet, persistent mouth, his hips were writhing and moans of pleasure were rising out of him…and he could feel moisture on the skin of his blushing, weeping arousal.

And there was no question where that beautiful, sinful mouth was going next. Any doubts Renji might have had were swept away as the mouth left his navel and made a line of breathy kisses following the path of fine red hairs, down to the thick bed of curls beneath. There was a pause and a puff of heated breath on the part of him waiting to be touched, and Renji looked into the lovely creature's eyes again and wanted nothing more then than to die in this man's arms.

He felt tears in his eyes, because he knew now that it wasn't a dream. It was too real and the emotions too deep. Byakuya might have lost his senses, but this was him, outlined in moonlight and stars, filled with strength and desire, his power blazing all around him. It could be no one else, Renji knew. Because no one else knew him the way Byakuya did. No one had ever gotten close enough to live beneath his skin, to breath his spirit in and exhale him this way, to make him shiver with love and pleasure from head to toe. Renji had been in other relationships and had given and taken pleasure.

But not like this.

Not pleasure that gripped him so firmly.

That made him feel like the floor had dropped away beneath him.

That made him feel like the worlds had ended and had flown apart into tiny particles.

His heart raced at a breakneck pace beneath a chest that heaved with the effort of keeping up…and the dark gray eyes observed him carefully, the wickedly sweet lips curving upward as they lowered to take him in. The warm lips teased their way downward and wrapped around him, sucking gently. And Renji couldn't stifle another deep, impatient moan as the pink tongue extended again, tasting him, sliding slowly upward, then moving lightly onward. The dark eyes met his again, this time warm and playful. He had never seen laughter touch Byakuya's eyes…but it happened here. And Renji could feel the silent laughter as the eyes lowered again and the soft lips wrapped around him and slid down his length, then returned.

"Ah…hah…B-bya…" he moaned, "It _is_ you…I…know it has to be…"

Deep suction and heavy strokes of that pleasant tongue stole his words away and a soft cry of intense pleasure escaped him…and he felt himself growing close.

He didn't want Byakuya to stop, didn't want this to end, but he couldn't last much longer. He couldn't hold back, being tormented so beautifully. He was losing control…or in fact had given over control to this wonderful, enchanting lover, this person he had hardly dared to believe could be his taichou, his Byakuya.

_But it is!_

_Oh, I know it is!_

_It just couldn't be anyone else who could do this to me!_

It took Renji a moment to realize that the mouth had left him, that his beautiful, divine lover was sitting up next to him, running his fingertips down a muscular arm…lacing their fingers together, lifting his hands to the lips that had taken him nearly to the brink of insanity. He kissed Renji's fingers lightly, the dark eyes latching onto his, radiating adoration and affection. Then _oh kami_ he was moving, rising up over Renji and straddling his body…resting his weight his knees and one hand, while the other reached down and positioned Renji.

"W-wait, Bya…"

But the glowing body sank down and Renji froze at the flash of pain he saw in his lover's eyes as the barriers were broken and he was taken into his lover's seething core. He gasped and tried to ask if Byakuya was all right…if he was hurt…if they should stop. But Byakuya was lifting his upper body away, moving the slender, pale hands to rest them against Renji's still-heaving chest as his head bowed for a moment to regain its calm countenance.

A shaky breath later, he was moving again, moving up and down Renji's length in heavy, mind-bending thrusts, his eyes glazed over and relieved of his senses, his lips parted and trembling. Somehow, Renji regained enough equilibrium to slide a hand down between them, to wrap around Byakuya's swollen erection and to slide up and down in time with Byakuya's motions.

He couldn't help but stare at the beautiful sight of Byakuya, surrounded in white light and power…radiating such deep warmth and looking so alive. He sank into the dark, senseless eyes and felt something opening between them. Because this wasn't just sex…or even making love. This was an opening of hearts and a binding of souls. And Renji knew that after this, there would be no one else. After this, his soul knew only Byakuya's and Byakuya's would know only his.

"B-byakuya…" he moaned softly.

Byakuya's body continued to rise and fall against his.

"You needn't say my name…" came the barely audible whisper.

And suddenly Renji remembered.

He remembered coming up out of the water.

And seeing Byakuya standing nearby, his eyes watching warily as he was approached.

He remembered taking Byakuya's wrist, taking him by the chin…and glaring down at him and feeling nothing.

And the cold words he said.

_We have no need for names here._

_You are my Consort and I am your king…_

_Do you understand your place?_

But that wasn't him! He wasn't cold like that! But he remembered his arms wrapping around Byakuya's taut body, lowering him to the ground. He felt the shaking and the heaving of his breast, the terror rising up inside until he used his power to make Byakuya senseless…to make him unable to respond. And his body had gone slack and his eyes had become empty as his body was carefully prepared and used…and abandoned.

_It wasn't me._

_I'm not like him._

_I could never do those things._

But even so, Renji knew that his body had been used to commit those acts of invasion…of coldness…No matter who Renji was or what he felt…or what he would or wouldn't do…He had surrendered his body to be used to make the new Spirit King, giving up control, just as Byakuya had. And part of what he had been used to do was to use Byakuya repeatedly against his wishes. And the one he gave over his control to had gone even further, using Byakuya's body, not just for the purpose of making the king, but for his own pleasure. And when he took Byakuya for pleasure, he always took him from behind, because he knew what he would see if he looked at his consort's face.

_Pain…_

_Sorrow…_

_Devastation…_

But they weren't in that place now. They had returned home and despite the betrayal, the separation, the fight to find each other, they were together now. And nothing would separate them again…nothing.

And Byakuya was not shaking with fear, but with intense pleasure. His face showed no sign of pain or sorrow or devastation. He moved with power, with confidence, with pride. And the sounds he was making weren't sounds of pain, but the soft, beautiful moans of a lover nearing release.

His movements became more ragged and his breaths released in short, heavy gasps. His fingers dug into the skin of Renji's chest and he was shaking so hard that Renji could see he was near the point of collapse. He reached down and pulled hard on Byakuya's writhing hips, at the same time, thrusting upward hard, pushing in deeper, finding the center of pleasure in his lover's core.

The gray eyes went wide and black and Byakuya threw his head back, his body arching in complete bliss as hot seed exploded out of him, pouring in searing white bursts onto Renji's chest and abdomen. His arms gave way and he collapsed onto his lover's chest, his body seized with deep, keening cries, weakening and falling still again, exhausted and unable to move except to draw and release breath.

Renji thrust upward one last time, emptying himself into Byakuya's depths, then wrapping his arms tightly around that still-glowing and beautiful body, holding it hard against his own and returning to Byakuya's mouth to pleasure it with an exchange of slow, open-mouthed kisses.

"Byakuya…" he moaned between kisses, "Aishiteru yo…aishiteru yo…"

The noble's eyes remained closed, his body motionless now on top of Renji's except for the slow inhale and exhale of breath. Renji thought he must have been overwhelmed and had fallen asleep, so he brought the damp face to rest on his shoulder and lay still, gazing out the window at the stars and feeling the slow return of his senses.

He wondered what it was that had made Byakuya regain himself like that…and if it meant that he was getting better. He hoped Byakuya was getting better. He'd been through so much.

But something nagged at Renji. Something told him that things weren't quite right.

And all his illusions were shattered when he whispered again in the noble's ear.

"Byakuya…aishiteru yo."

The dark eyes opened and fastened obediently on his.

"You needn't call me by name."

He felt a sinking sensation.

"I am your Consort and you are my king."

Tears came to his eyes.

"I understand my place."

And Renji's heart shattered.


	15. When A Diamond Shatters

**Chapter 15: When a Diamond Shatters**

**(Lyric Poem By Spunky0ne :) Enjoy!)**

**_This is what happens when a diamond shatters,_**

"Byakuya," Renji said, sitting up and pulling the noble up with him.

But Byakuya's body was limp and lifeless, the power and life draining away before Renji's eyes.

**_Falling apart into perfect pieces,_**

He was cold and shaking, and his eyes were wide and empty. He fell against Renji and the only part of him that still seemed alive were the slender hands that clung to Renji. His head dropped onto Renji's shoulder and Renji could feel the tears beginning again.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, "I didn't know…"

**_They sparkle so bright,_**

He took the noble's face in his hands and stared down into the dark, empty eyes, looking for some sign of the person who had been there before. But it was like falling into oblivion. The tears welled up and overflowed, but there was no expression beneath them.

"I know you can hear me. I know you're still here!"

**_The broken bits still reflecting the light,_**

Renji lowered him onto the bed again and touched his face and hair. His trembling hands squeezed the noble's and he whispered his name, calling to him over and over. He searched for signs of injury, anything else to explain how suddenly he had gone. He pulled the blankets back and searched everywhere, stopping with a catching of his breath when he saw blood.

**_This is what happens when a heart surrenders,_**

It wasn't enough to be a serious injury…and Renji knew why it was there. And, kami, he knew why Byakuya had fallen on him that way. It wasn't love…or a choice…It was subservience. And it tore at Renji's heart like the cut of a zanpakutou.

**_The precious lifeblood slips right through your fingers,_**

"I hurt you…" he whispered brokenly, "but I'm not going to leave you like this. I'm going to take care of you…and you'll come back to me."

He leaned over Byakuya, gently kissing his face, ignoring the tears that streamed down his own.

"Aishiteru yo…aishiteru yo…aishiteru yo…" he whispered, lifting Byakuya into his arms again and rocking slowly back and forth, "I won't leave you. I promise…I promise that I'll find a way to heal you."

**_Crimson splashes on white skin,_**

He set Byakuya back against the pillows and moved over his body from head to toe with hands extended and healing power flaring, able to make the physical signs disappear, to make his body white and perfect again…but not to rid him of the memories.

And it was the memories that were stealing him away from himself.

**_The slow exhale, where dying begins,_**

"I'm not the Interim King," Renji whispered, placing a hand over Byakuya's steadily beating heart, "I was used to hurt you…but I never would have agreed to what he did…I couldn't have let myself be used that way, if I had known."

He slowly set Byakuya's yukata back in place and tied it at the waist.

"I would rather let all the worlds end than hurt you."

**_"Let go," says a voice inside,_**

"Do you feel it?" whispered Byakuya suddenly, his eyes still closed.

Renji stared as a trembling hand took his and brought it beneath the yukata, setting it on the soft flesh of Byakuya's lower abdomen.

"I'm not empty inside anymore…"

"Byakuya?" Renji breathed, still staring, "Bya…"

"It's okay now. As long as it lives inside, there is hope we will go home soon."

**_"Let go of your strength, your love, your pride, your life…"_**

"Can't you hear me?" Renji said, choking on his tears, "Byakuya, can't you hear me at all?"

The dark eyes opened and looked up into his and the soft brow furrowed in confusion. Pale fingertips rose and touched the tears on Renji's face, the Byakuya stared at them questioningly.

"Have I failed you in some way?" he asked softly, "I've done my best to serve you well. But perhaps I've fallen short somehow."

"No…" Renji sobbed softly, "You've been perfect. I loved you the way that you were…even though you could sometimes be cold, I always knew there were things there that I just couldn't see…things you couldn't express…"

**_This is what happens when a trust is broken,_**

Byakuya gave a sudden, soft gasp and one hand slid down to his midsection.

"What is it? Are you in pain?" Renji asked, placing a hand on his.

"Why are you telling me to let it go?" Byakuya whispered, "If it goes away, I'll be empty again. I can't let this go…"

"What are you saying? Are you remembering…?"

He gave a soft cry of pain and released a trembling exhale.

"No…no…no…please don't make me let go of him…"

**_And sweet innocence is gently stolen,_**

"R-renji? You came back…"

"Byakuya, I never left you."

The dark eyes wavered with confusion.

"Did I…did I lose the king's reiatsu?"

"We aren't there anymore…"

"Taichou…you called me Taichou…and I could see your eyes had changed…and your markings were black…That's how I knew it was you and not _him_…"

"I'm here…I'm here to take care of you."

**_No trick of the light,_**

"Byakuya, you need to rest now," Renji said, placing his hands on the noble's face.

He focused for a moment, sending slow waves of power through his hands. Byakuya's eyes dimmed and faded. His body went limp and his breathing went quiet. Slowly, his eyes closed.

Renji pulled his hands away and remained kneeling at his side, his mouth dry, his face wet, his heart broken. He wondered what came next…if Byakuya could be helped out of the place he was in. And could that help come from him…or could he be making things worse?

He needed help…

He couldn't do this on his own and he knew it…

**_When you know it's the end, but still you fight,_**

He knew that someone would come to check on them soon. And when they did, he had to know where to go…what to do. He considered his options. Hanatarou was good for healing, but he wouldn't have the slightest idea how to mend a broken heart. The doctor in the hospital where Byakuya had stayed crossed his mind. But Riku had taken her memories of all of them and even if he restored them…it would take time…and she had seemed convinced he needed some kind of help that she couldn't offer. Orihime was a possibility, but her powers were directed at healing injury, preventing loss of life. Tessai, too, was a capable healer, but again, skilled in matters of the body, not so much matters of the heart.

**_"Let go," says a voice inside,_**

Byakuya shifted uncomfortably in his sleep, and Renji found himself surprised by that. He had used a very strong sleep induction. Byakuya should have slept without moving for several hours. It left Renji wondering what was driving him. What was pushing him through the memories?

He stroked the raven black hair and planted soft kisses on brow and lips.

"Sleep, Byakuya, you need to sleep some more. You'll feel better when you've rested. Things will get clearer…I promise."

But he had to wonder if he was really telling the truth.

**_"Let go of your strength, your love, your pride, your life…"_**

A knock on the door brought Renji to his feet. He tied the yukata at his waist and left the bedroom, stepping out into the living area. He crossed the room and reached out with his senses. Breathing a sigh of relief, he opened the door and let Yoruichi in.

"Kami, I'm glad to see you!" Renji exclaimed.

Yoruichi studied him for a moment, taking in the worn, shattered look and shaking her head.

"He's in bad shape, isn't he?" she asked.

Her expression told Renji that he didn't have to answer aloud.

**_This is what happens when a diamond shatters,_**

She flash stepped to the bedroom, opening the door and looking down at the face of the one who had been the strongest of the shinigami. There was no strength in him now. His face was deathly pale, his eyes, when they opened, empty and dull. He lay unmoving and staring straight ahead, seemingly unaware of her, even when she climbed onto the bed and took his hand in hers.

"Oh, Renji…this is awful! It must have been horrible…in that place…alone with the Interim King. He must have felt so lost…so alone…"

She stroked his hand gently.

"And when he came back…to be lied to by the people he trusted…to have them corner him like that! To have them try to take his memories by force…and having no power to stop them…"

**_Falling apart, into perfect pieces,_**

"I need you to stay with him," Renji said, staring down at Byakuya, "I have to go and get some help for him…for us. I think I know who, but it will be dangerous."

"Perhaps I should go," suggested Yoruichi, "I can move around unnoticed. I might have a better chance than you of avoiding detection."

He knew it was the truth. He knew that where help would be found was the last place he should go. But he was afraid now.

What if he was the reason that Byakuya was having these delusions?

What if his very presence was complicating his lover's recovery?

Could it be that it was better for Byakuya if he stayed away?

**_They sparkle so bright,_**

Yoruichi stared into his eyes and it seemed to Renji as if she could read his thoughts perfectly.

"Don't do that to yourself, Renji," she cautioned, "Don't talk yourself into thinking that he's better off without you. Running away from the cause of his pain won't help him to defeat it."

She touched Byakuya's cheek with soft fingertips.

"I know it's difficult, facing the darkness he has inside him, but you know him better than anyone. You have the best chance of seeing him through."

"I was the one who was used to hurt him," Renji said bitterly, "I agreed to be used and I was used to hurt Byakuya over and over."

"That," Yoruichi said quietly, "is why you need to be the one at his side. It will bring out the pain…and then the two of you can defeat it together."

**_The broken bits still reflecting the light…_**

"Can we?" Renji asked, his eyes filling with tears, "Because I'm not so sure…"

"Of course you can," Yoruichi assured him, "Renji, I can feel what's between you. It's very, very strong. And it is more than enough to conquer the darkness that has taken hold of him. Love was made to break through the darkness. But you have to believe in it…know it…trust it."

He swallowed hard, gazing down at the still-senseless noble.

"Okay," he said, hardly daring to release the words, "I will. I will trust it. I'll stay here with him…but I need you to bring someone…quietly, without getting caught, and without letting anyone follow you back. If she refuses, then get out of there. I don't want you swept up in this."

"I won't get caught. I promise. Who am I going to find?"

"Unohana taichou."

**_You can't make it whole again,_**

"Good choice," Yoruichi said encouragingly.

She climbed off the bed and wrapped her arms around Renji, kissing him gently on the cheek.

"I will be back with her before you know it."

"What if she won't help us? What if she threatens to give us away?"

Yoruichi shook her head.

"Your instincts are telling you to trust her and I believe they are right to do so. You and Byakuya are both going to be fine, but you need help getting through the worst of this. Unohana taichou can help you. I know she can. And I believe she will. She doesn't let anything stop her from doing the right thing."

She flash stepped to the door and turned back for a moment.

"Everything will be all right, Renji. Stay with him, hold him, comfort him. I will be back with help soon."

She turned and disappeared out the door.

**_Just keep the pieces safe in your hand._**

Renji realized that if he was going to see Byakuya through this, he needed to take care of himself. He went to the kitchen and made himself eat lightly before turning back to join Byakuya in the bedroom. When he entered the room, Byakuya was sitting up and looking around the room curiously.

"You woke up…" Renji said softly.

"Is it time?" Byakuya asked, "Has the reiatsu been rendered?"

He asked the question as though he was asking about the weather. And he gazed up at Renji with what looked like a lucid expression, waiting for an answer. Renji sat down on the bed and took Byakuya's hands in his.

"I know you don't hear me right now and I understand that you're remembering the one who used me to hurt you. I can't stop what's happening inside you…but I am here for you."

**_You can't make it whole again,_**

"The reiatsu isn't rendered? Then why have you come?"

Renji watched sadly as his eyes darkened and went dull again and he turned until he was lying on his stomach. He rested there, shivering slightly and waiting. He knew what it meant, what Byakuya was waiting for…

He stretched his body alongside Byakuya's and stroked his hair and back gently.

"I am not the Interim King," Renji said softly, "I am Abarai Renji…your Renji. Byakuya, I want you to try to remember."

His face was turned away from Renji, but the redhead heard him sigh softly. He kept his hands on Byakuya's body, the touches light and gentle and his voice low.

"Byakuya…It's me…It's Renji…aishiteru yo…aishiteru yo…my Byakuya…my love…my Taichou…"

There was a light catching of breath and Byakuya's head turned, his eyes brightening as they came to rest on Renji's.

"R-renji?" Byakuya whispered.

And the next thing Renji knew, Byakuya had risen to his knees and was holding on to him for dear life.

**_Just keep the pieces safe in your hand._**


End file.
